and we've replaced statements like "It's all good" w/ revolutionary cries

The Hip Hop and Violence Suite by Vthov

2011-12-02T13:15:00.001-08:00

This managed to hold my interest for a full 7 mins (it's 9mins in total) so I guess it's probably worth checking out. I like the total package of the integration of news clips and sound bites from Dr. Cornel West into the video. I'm not in love with all the ryhmes but dude is decent. I might have to pick up this Books Over Bullets mixtape of his. If I do I'll do a review.Which reminds me that I need to write up reviews for the following new joints I've come across:MixtapesDavid by BEEFThe Enimal Kingdom by Fly Guy EnimalAoM: The Prequel by EstelleLate Nights and Even Earlier Mornings by Marcia AmbroiseIgnorant Art by Iggy AzaelaLPsSoul Punk by Patrick StumpTalk that Talk by RihannaPapercut Chronicles II by The Gym Class Heroes

The Real Bey-Z: Marriage, Affect, and the Politics of Display

2011-11-13T03:41:00.001-08:00

The below piece is a reflection on an essay written by Renina "Black Relationship Politic: Do You Believe Beyonce" over at The New Model Minority. In it I explore Renina's call out of Beyonce for not showing affection toward Jay-Z and the questions that raises for Renina about the realness of their marriage and what messages that sends to Black women and others.

In it I discuss some of the larger ramifications of discourses on Black women in public life that are important in my work. And while I did not evoke the term in the comment itself I think this work is reflective on my ruminations of my concept (as far as I know it's not been talked about in this way) of the Politics of Display for Black women.

You can read more of Renina's thoughts on Beyonce (which full disclosure I had not read all of these essays when making my comment) at: Beyonce and Black Women's Empowerment Making Conncections Between Odd Future X Jay Z X Beyonce Arielle Loren Asks 'Is Beyonce the Contemporary Face of Feminism?' My ResponseAnd "What Sarah Palin Taught me About Beyonce (linked in the text of this post, which is the one other Beyonce post I read before commenting.)

The Real Bey-Z: Marriage, Affect, and the Politics of Display

I found this and you're first piece (What Sarah Palin Taught Me) to be very intriguing and evocative. Evocative because while dealing with a similar set of issues in my own work I don't reach all of the same conclusions.

I for example am not as convinced as you seem to be at the weight that hegemony plays specifically in Black- U.S. based popular culture. I think that like all forms of culture, Black people have through necessity been trained to have an oppositional consciousness towards the media that they encounter. This oppositional consciouness has not, I believe, died with the advent of mass distribution of Black images. And in this I'm riffing off the work of Jacqueline Bobo.

I make this point because I feel that you're expression of Beyonce as dangerous to young girls' (and grown women's) understanding of relationships, marriage, and patriarchy I see similar tendencies toward work that warns against the dangers of the "loose" woman image in popular culture. For me these arguments tend to unfold as such: We must save young Black women from X image because they will believe it is true, the only possibility of being, and/or become it by consuming it.

I think it's dangerous ground to equate consumption with identification (though I acknowledge that there are many scholars and critics who believe that this how identity works in the era of global capitalism.) I would point to the work of queer of color scholars on disidentification and counteridentification (particularly Joze Munoz) for conversations on how one can consume images/artificacts that either don't reflect themselves or their values without necessarily becoming convinced by those images/artifacts.

All that to say that I believe that culture is at its worst a co-conspirator of oppressive regimes. That while media does send messages about the nature of life to people, young Black girls, that we are capable of more sophisticated and nuanced relationships than we at times give credit. And I don't mean after being "trained" in media literacy. I mean that every day we (re)learn how to understand the images/artifacts that we encounter. I don't believe that people act in the ways they do because they have been duped by cultural products. Instead I believe it is a messy interweaving of discourse, individual and group psychology, social opportunity, and history. Scapegoating culture production I think leaves us without out anyway to hold accountable the structural forces and personal and group complicity with oppressive regimes. Rappers did not teach me about patriarchy and the domination of Black women by Black men...my father did.

So ultimately it doesn't matter, to me, whether or not Beyonce and Jay-Z marriage is real. Whatever a real marriage is supposed to be. For me what the public's unease about the authenticity of their marriage reflects is a national and more specifically Black people's long sordid anxieties about what marriage means. Particularly important to U.S.-based notions of marriage in the 20th century is the attempt through law and cultural production to create a rule of marriage as a romantic partnership between two opposite gender individuals. Part of the purpose of the creation of such a rule was to separate "American" marriage from 'foreign' and 'ethnic' (and I am attempting to connote what was a pejorative concept of both terms) notion of marriage that was seen as being basely economic in it's reasoning. (This argument is based largely in my readings of Pamela Haag and Katherine Franke on race, post-emancipation , immigration, and marriage.) Ultimately America has always been afraid of thinking of marriage as the economic institution that I believe it to be. Marriages that starkly bring that into the public milieu often excite this anxiety. A condition of our acceptance into American society has been Black people's investment into this ethical anxiety about marriage (Franke.)

I feel the same way about Bey-Z as I do Kim Kardashian's marriage, I am only as concerned about it to the extent that everyone else seems to find it so anxiety provoking. This isn't to say that public figures, and celebrities are who we're talking about right now specifically, are beyond the bounds of critic or observation. I make my living largely based on doing just that. However, what I am saying is that our observations and criticism need to think of these things with a consideration of the historical context which they are found within. As other's have mentioned there are many contemporary and historical examples of Black marriage/relationships/love that don't fit within the affection rubric that you're outlining in the above piece.

It's popped into my head that there is an interesting relationship between the way you have described Beyonce in this work and some of the charges that Condoleezza Rice has often faced for seeing cold and detached. And while I'm probably the last person to launch a defence of Condy campaign, I ultimately think this policing of her affective displays was ultimately a way for both Black and whites to question her femininity, moral character (which there were soo many other policy related ways of doing THAT), and her authentic human being-ness. I am brought to this comparison largely by your repeated invocation of Beyonce's class status (as now wealthy and formerly middle class--which is suggested by you're comment that she grew up in the suburbs of Houston, which is inaccurate in my opinion as I'm from the area she was born in (I went to the neighboring high school that she, kind-of attended) and it was hardly a suburb much less a Black middle class area. This image of the aloof and austere middle class Black woman, I'm thinking Sanai in Somethings Gotta Give, is an enduring cultural trope of the last 50 years at least in Black cultural production and I think it deserves much more consideration.

I'm going to tr to wrap up because I think I've probably over stayed my welcome at this point. I guess my though is *of course* there is artifice in how Beyonce does or does not display affect in public. That is ultimately a part of the lives of all Black women. There is often an unusual burden of such artifice placed on the bodies and movements of professional and public Black women (I'm thinking here of the work of Darlene Clark Hine and cultures of dissemblance.) That is not to say that working class, poor, and the everday Black women don't enact this artifice either. Nor am I arguing that this is healthy. I think that dissemblance is a historical trauma that reeks havoc on the psyches of Black women constantly. However, I am arguing I guess that this is not a phenomenon that was started by Beyonce, nor is she the most important or powerful actor in this issue.

*I would also like to say that if her career is looked at in the fullness of it's development that there is, I believe, a distinct shift in the ways that she is able to talk about sex, love, and desire after the dismissal of Matthew Knowles as her manager (and in large part constructor of her public image) which is most visible in the, I think, sea change between the albums I am...Sasha Fierce and 4. Where Beyonce goes from singing about putting rings on it and instead to treating her husband to erotic dances.

**I'm going to post this to my blog and link back to your piece. I will take down the link if you request.

Fox Boogie, the Brown Fox: Some thoughts on Longevity and the Nature of Rapping for the (Female) Emcee

2011-09-29T02:13:00.000-07:00

JumpOffTV had a discussion on the potential of Fox becoming relevant in rap again. I think most people were hopeful (as am I) but offered legit criticism (except the main woman who obviously has no faith in Fox.) Kim has a new deal, Digga dropped a mixtape this year, Trina's about to drop a new video any day now. You can be a female rapper from the 90s and still do something in the biz. But disses, with no new, hot material? Not the way.

I'm a Fox supporter. I think that there was a time when she was one of the illest lyricist. BUT! The only thing coming from her these days is controversy. I don't think it's all her. I definitely think she had some shady industry shit go down on her over the years. But I don't want that to keep her from ever making music again.

I think she has to step up her game though. Even Eminem, who is acknowledged by most (FUCK BENZINO) to be one of the dopest lyricist of our times, has said that rhyming is a skill that takes practice to hone. That means you can't just stop writing for damn near a decade and then expect greatness. I really wish she would take sometime and just go write somewhere, not put out the first shit she puts together but keep honing it until it's at the Ill Na Na level, THEN come back out.

I like Beef rap, i can't lie, but Beef rap doesn't sell records like it used to. Not saying everyone should roll up all their beef lyrics but you have to have more going on in a record/album in order have significant shine.

Ultimately I want Foxy to be great again. I think she can rhyme, I think there are STILL not enough dark brown women making it in rap, and I think--at her best--she forces the game to elevate itself. I write often about Kim because Kim stays making music and giving me material to analyze...I want to be writing about Foxy too. I want her to succeed, if this is her desire.

2011-09-29T00:42:00.000-07:00

The below started as a comment on a tumblr but clearly went TL;DR so I made it a "post" a lot less um...polished than some of my recent posting, but that's what you get when you follow this here blog. *Shrug.*
---------------------------

(Me a year ago, my hair is shorter now, chopped again...)

So apparently all the Black girl appreciation tumblrs (or the one's I follow so the important one's right?) are talking "natural" hair today. What is natural? What is real real natural?

I have "natural" hair in the sense that I no longer have it chemically processed to have it "straightened" (read killed so it lies flat.) I could however give two shits about people's perspective on that. I wanted to get real into the natural hair appreciation community but far to often I felt like people spent sooo much time talking about how better natural Black women felt about themselves than "non-natural" women (need a term for that.) Natural women have better (not just more but better)self-esteem than... "non-natural women." Personally, I went natural because I moved across the country and had no one I trusted to do my hair and I hate spending time doing hair myself. On my top 5 list of stupid shit to do with my day. Not because I loved my African roots sooo much that I wanted to dismantle the white supremacist, whatever the hell. I mean if that's why you did it then fine do you. But there are all kinds of factors that play into people's decisions about how to wear there hair. Mine happen to be that I am impatient and can't stand to spend the amount of time that most care regimens that long (processed or not) hair requires.

Maybe I also did it because I was soooo scared to chop my hair off. I had long hair my whole life and when I started thinking of going natural I decided I would do a big chop because there was no way I was going to spend the time and energy doing the stuff required to do a transition. Rather cut if all off and start from scratch. But the thought of having short hair, hair that I couldn't hide behind? Freaked me the fuck out. I am a femme, but for years felt like no one respected (or really saw) that part of my identity and I wanted to do nothing to jeopardize my hard one feminine "cred." Cutting my hair till I was nearly bald would be a dangerous (from my perspective) move. Funny enough I think I've gotten more play as a short-haired femme than I ever got with long hair...who knew?

But the point is that there are sooo many reasons why a Black woman can decide to process or not to process her hair or wear "artificial hair". Hell if I could figure out a way to put weave in that took less an hour, for cheap...shooo, I would have hair down my back at least 1 week out of every month. I think Black women are gorgeous regardless of what we're doing with our hair. And I think it's a shame how much people ESPECIALLY BLACK WOMEN police Black women about their hair. The freedom to choose what happens with your hair means you could make ANY choice.

It aggravates me to no end that people honestly believe that *my* (or anyone else's) political "authenticity" can be assumed because of how they do their hair. I'm not saying hair is not political but it is one facet of a persons identity. I AM NOT A (sometimes militant) BLACK FEMINIST BECAUSE I HAVE NATURAL HAIR. I DO NOT HAVE NATURAL HAIR TO PROVE MY BLACK FEMINIST IDENTITY. I AM A BLACK FEMINIST AND I HAPPEN TO HAVE NATURAL HAIR BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK I WANTED TO DO WITH MY HAIR THAT MORNING.

sad love poem

2011-09-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

you'v been on my mind lately
i've been thinking
about how there was a time
when you covered my body like
invisible tattoo lines
that no one could see but me
so intricate and infinately apart of
who i was

i miss you
on the nights of
the days that i think of you
---

i think, looking back
that if they never knew
about you, back then,
then they never knew me

i kept you so deep inside myself
buried where others could not harm
us
deep enough to poison myself
close to my heart

when i say things like i used to be in love
once upon a time
it feels like a lie
because 'in love' seems so small
so incapable of explaining how it was for me
with you
---
everyday i wake up
and don't call
i feel like i'm pulling back a layer of old tattooed skin
trying to find the places underneath
free of you

i will sleep through the night
and not dream of you
i will not crave your touch
or seeing you smile
or hearing you laugh

one day i will wake up
and i will choose my own happiness
not for the first time
but this time the choice will come easy

i will not regret
never figuring out
the exact combination of words and deeds
that would have taught you how to love me better

i will not miss
almost kisses or
unconsummated nights
or holding hands
or running my hands through your hair
---
the day after
i wake up and you are past me
i will go out
and fall madly in like with someone(s)
and i won't be afraid or ashamed
to let like become love

On the Eve of September 21st

2011-09-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

I have some thoughts on the Troy Davis case that I want to share. I won't lie, part of the reason I write this is to try to express somethings from my soul so that I (and hopefully others) will get some rest tonight.

That a man, a Black man, in 2011 can be killed/murdered/executed by a state/the state comes of no surprise to many of us in the United States. I would even go far as to say that there will be several more men, Black or Brown men, who for reasons more or less compelling than Davis who will die at the hands of this state this year, next year, and the year after. So I don't think, I can't imagine, that speaking against this particular case will stop the brutal force with which the penal system destroys lives and communities. I don't know if anyone in prison justice movements can think that holistic change is possible of this system. At least to me it seems that so long as prisons can be used as a covert form of social engineering that is morally invested in by the majority of a society--the damages that they inflict will continue to occur. So it is to me the only way is to respond with a focus on the mircro, on the individual. Perhaps at some point it will have an aggregated effect but I don't know that we can necessarily be invested in that. Too often I feel people are dissuaded by prison justice struggling because they see know way to slay the dragon. It is too large, too dangerous, and worse far too scary. Hmmm...I don't think the dragon metaphor will bear out in the way that I would want so I'll just be blunt. We have to work at the individual/micro level because it is probably the only way to maintain hope in this struggle.

This case has weighed on my heart both because of the particularities but also because of how it sits among so many cases like it in recent and long past time here, in the United States, and all around the world. It evokes for me the frighting numbers of Black and Brown women who are currently incarcerated in the United States. It reminds me that this number grows exponentially every year. That most men and women in Black and Brown communities can expect at some point in their lives to be touched by the brutality of prison either by experiencing incarceration themselves or the incarceration of someone they know and love. It reminds me of the young men I know/knew personally who are now doing time.

I'm not really knowledgeable about Davis's political affiliation but this case,as well as the ever rising public outcry, reminds me of all the Black and Brown women and men killed/murdered/executed or sentenced to virtual deaths by the United States for political crimes, real or imagined, violent and nonviolent.

I don't know how we can call ourselves a moral and just society and still believe in the death penalty. I am even more dismayed that in the face of consistent proof at the failures of the so-called justice system that we can continue to support so brutal a measure of justice. I am not a pacifist but there is a certain point where I cannot, with good conscience, stand behind the state-sanctioned termination of life.

To be less grandiose...I am sad. I have been, in the recesses of my mind where I won't let people touch, deeply saddened for the approach of September 21st. I will, saving a miracle that I can't bring myself to believe will occur, even sadder to wake up September 22nd.

So tonight I'm going to go in search for some peace. I hope if you're reading this, and you're upset/hurt/challenged/dismayed by this case you find some too. I'm praying Troy Davis finds some peace, better in life than in death, but whatever, ultimately, it can be found.

bruised

2011-09-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

I think too often when Black women are in crisis
we are given messages
that say that we cannot show it.

Because we already start from a place
that is perceived as weak
and, in order to get through,
we need to fake being strong.

But I am not strong now.
My soul is bruised and cut.

My wounds will grow over.
They will scar and scab.
Some of them will disappear.
Others I will carry with me
like memories.

2011-09-15T03:52:00.000-07:00

Def Jam Vendetta: Shyne vs 50 Cent from jeff on Vimeo.

No shade because I love(d) Shyne. I even bought that album he made (basically) on the phone from prison. This video was hilarious though.

Speaking of people Puffy fucked over...anyone seen that new Black Rob video?

More News on Cornell Universities Africana Studies and Research Center

2011-09-15T03:28:00.000-07:00

I am so disappointed that this has happened. Not surprised but disappointed.

As I (and much more prominent folks in the field) have said, negroes are going out of fashion in the US academy. And they are selling our spaces to the highest bidder and kicking us the f*ck out. 41 years and this is what it comes to. All it takes is one (white) man in a position of power to decide he doesn't want you to have all this control and shit gets real, real fast. I am glad that we (they mostly) didn't take this laying down even if it's a blow that all of the writing and protests and everything did nothing to move the march of institutional racism in the academy.

-----------------------------------------------------From: latashalevy2011@u.northwestern.edu
For a link to the Dean's recent announcement regarding the demotion of the Africana Studies and Research Center at Cornell University, visit:http://www.news.cornell.edu/stories/Aug11/AfricanaStmt.html
Africana alumni shed light on this matter below.
------------------------------------------------------

Dear Friends and Colleagues,
You are receiving this message because of your previous support for theAfricana Studies and Research Center at Cornell University. We appreciate your time and commitment to the Africana Center, and we are saddened to inform you that the outcome was not what we had hoped. Over the summer, despite vehement objections from supporters across the country, the Africana Studies Center was placed under the control of the College of Arts and Sciences. Since that time, the Dean has begun to develop plans for Africana, and has given control over the department to two Associate Deans who have no training or background in Africana Studies. Although Cornell University administrators have been putting a positive "spin" on Africana's fate, the faculty, students, and alumni see the situation quite differently.
Africana alumni have been organizing to bring the truth to light, and wehope that you will take a few moments to read our statement on this matter. We also hope you will forward this information to other friends and colleagues, in effort to spread the word. For your convenience, we have pasted our statement below and attached it as a pdf file.
Thank you again for your time and support.
In solidarity,
Leslie M. Alexander, Ph.D.

*An Open Response to Dean Peter Lepage’s Plans for Africana Studies*
*at Cornell University*
September 12, 2011

As alumni of the Africana Studies and Research Center at Cornell University,we are deeply troubled by the most recent development regarding the Africana Center’s future. In a recent *Cornell Chronicle *article, Peter Lepage, Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences, announced his plans for the Africana Center to “flourish” at Cornell University. Beneath a camouflage of concern, this decree rests on blatant misinformation and a reckless disregard for the integrity of Africana Studies and—by extension—the credibility of Cornell University as an institution of higher learning.

Over the past year, Provost Fuchs and Dean Lepage have repeatedly implemented unilateral mandates that are in direct opposition to the Africana Center’s best interest, and now the Center has, in effect, been placed in receivership. Cornell’s administrators have flagrantly violated even the most fundamental concepts of faculty governance. They have refused to acknowledge and to consider the national outcry and advocacy for the inclusion of Africana faculty voices in the process of reconfiguring the Center’s relationship to the university. Instead of engaging in open and honestdialogue, Provost Fuchs, with the support of President Skorton and now Dean Lepage, haveoperated in a tyrannical and despotic manner—with a penchant for decree over dialogue. The
authoritarian and destructive processes by which this restructuring plan has transpired evoked condemnation from members of the Africana faculty, the two leading professional organizations in the field (the National Council for Black Studies and the Association for the Study of African American Life and History), numerous alumni, students, the country’s leading Black intellectuals and more than 2,500 petitioners. Furthermore, Provost Fuchs also refused to even meet with Africana Studies and Research Center alumni. This blatant disregard for the integrity of Africana Studies and its constituent community of scholars, activists and students raises serious questions
about the credibility of the leadership at Cornell University. There was indeed widespread and diverse opposition to Provost Fuchs’s move to undermine the Africana Studies and Research enter. However, it is also clear that leading Black intellectuals were among the most vocal critics. We believe that the ease with which the Cornell administration dismissed national calls for an alternative course of action is rooted in an underlying racist paternalism which has no place in an academy of higher learning.

We are also appalled at the distortions and outright misinformation in Dean Lepage’s announcement, which reflects the “official line” put forth by Provost Fuchs. As a result, we would like to clarify several key points:

1. PhD PROGRAM—The Africana Center’s faculty members were already developing plans for a PhD program long before the Provost announced his plans to move the Africana Center. The Africana faculty had been discussing a PhD program for some time, and began drafting plans to establish the PhD program as early as 2005. The Provost and Dean have continued to spin the story as if they somehow granted the PhD program as a gift and a sign of good favor to the
Africana Center. This is patronizing and downright dishonest. Moreover, we insist, as we have previously, that there is nothing about the nature of a PhD program which requires the Africana Center to be housed within the College of Arts and Sciences. If Cornell University is committed to creating a PhD in Africana Studies and would like to dedicate funds to that effort, then they should
feel free to do so under the same administrative structure that has allowed Africana Studies to thrive for more than 41 years. Instead, in a disturbingly paternalistic fashion that evokes centuries of institutional racism, Cornell’s administration is only willing to infuse money into Africana Studies if the Africana faculty is stripped of control over every aspect of the program including hiring, promotion and tenure, curriculum development, and faculty governance.

2. LEADERSHIP—In his recent announcement, Dean Lepage stated, “Over the past several months, the College Deans and Provost Kent Fuchs worked with Africana faculty to identify new leadership…Ultimately, we weren’t able to identify a faculty member who was both willing to serve and acceptable to a substantial majority of the Africana faculty…” This is a blatant lie. There are faculty members in the Africana Center who are willing and able to serve in the capacity of Director, and faculty members should be afforded the opportunity, as they have in the past, to hold elections and to determine their own fate. Yet, here again, the administration has held true to its recent pattern of excluding faculty participation, dialogue, and democratic rule in favor of authoritarian fiat. Perhaps most disturbingly, the administration’s choice to place the Africana Center under the control of two Associate Deans, neither of whom has any academic background in Africana Studies, is tantamount to placing the Center into receivership. Such extreme action should only be taken when a department is bereft of leadership, and there is no other recourse. That is certainly not the case here, and this administrative abuse of power is absolutely unwarranted.

3. HIRING—Both Dean Lepage and Provost Fuchs have made promises to increase the faculty of the Africana Center. However, they hinted at a process that favors joint appointments (though they have remained secretive about this initiative). Such an approach would undermine the Center’s longstanding ability to control its own hiring practices, tenure processes and allocation of faculty lines. Africana will, instead, be forced to hire and tenure only at the whim and discretion of other departments. This is a crucial point—one that has been largely overlooked, but is central to the fate of Africana Studies at Cornell and across the nation. For many of us, the actions of the Provost and Dean harken back to the 1997-1998 Humanities Report, which advocated for Africana Studies to be housed in Arts and Sciences on the grounds that the Africana Center posed an “especially difficult problem for University politics and policies.” In short, the report demanded that Africana be relocated under the jurisdiction of Arts and Sciences because the university administration wanted greater control over the Center politically, socially, and economically. Ironically, the Humanities Report—once it was exposed—went down to crushing defeat because, as the report itself acknowledged, “It would be shortsighted to envisage reforms or radical restructuring of departments and programs on the basis of misperceptions, poorly informed investigations, dubiously conceptualized arguments, or extremely limited visions of the University and its needs. *It is all too easy to destroy* *strengths through ill-conceived innovations and institutional schemes*.” (Emphasis added). Yet, here we are, more than a decade later, and theuniversity has done precisely what it warned against. Administrators have destroyed one of the university’s true strengths, by implementing ill-conceived innovations and schemes. If the Africana Studies and Research Center at Cornell can be stripped of the right of faculty governance and denied the ability to be self-determining in regards to hiring, tenure, curriculum, and all other matters, every department across the nation is at risk.

4. FUNDING, ENDOWMENTS, & GIFTS OF CONVENIENCE—Over the past several months, both Dean LePage and Provost Fuchs have continued to make public announcements about increased funding, endowed chairs and other gifts to be granted to the Africana Center. Yet none of these things have been documented on paper, or articulated with any specificity. Instead, they are nothing more than empty promises that have conveniently projected a false picture of administrative
support to the public. Moreover, as additional evidence of its disregard for the Africana faculty, the administration has not discussed any of its plans directly with the faculty. Administrators have chosen, instead, to hand down decrees rather than to engage and to consult with their own faculty. Indeed, over the course of the past year, the Africana faculty has received most of the administration’s announcements concerning Africana’s future at the same time as the rest of the general public. This level of disrespect would not be tolerated in any other department, and should not be acceptable in Africana Studies either.

5. DISMANTLING OF BLACK ADVOCACY PROJECTS ON CAMPUS—The restructuring of Africana is emblematic of a larger assault on Black advocacy projects at Cornell University. This move is an extension of the decline of Ujamaa Residential College, in which longtime residential housing Director Ken Glover was removed—with no explanation or justification—despite idespread support among faculty, parents and students. Additionally in June 2011, the administration restructured and diminished COSEP, the program designed to recruit and support the matriculation of Black and minority students. These decisions are part of a larger political project to dismantle many of the hard-won gains of Black students over the last 40 years and to punish those whomaintain that legacy. The dismissal, disrespect, and alienation of certain faculty, community members and programs are tantamount to political persecution, and such behavior must be nipped in the bud before similar trends are allowed to flourish across the country.

Finally, as alumni, we want to reiterate our strong opposition to the administration’s conspiratorial decision to appoint Associate Deans Elizabeth Adkins and David Harris as the new “leadership” of the Africana Center. Not only is this move unprecedented in Cornell’s history; we also believe it to be regressive and colonial in nature. If “faculty enthusiasm is critical to effective long-term leadership,” as Dean Lepage contends, then why hold the Africana Center hostage under an externally appointed administrative regime? As the administration moves forward with its plans for the Africana Studies and Research Center, it must understand that the manner in which it has facilitated this move has not only compromised the integrity of Africana, but it has undermined the integrity of Cornell University in general. This deceptive, dishonest and unethical behavior is shameful for an institution of higher learning and directly contradicts the very principles that Cornell claims to espouse.

Leslie M. Alexander, Ph.D.
Jared Ball, Ph.D.
Monique Bedasse, Ph.D.
Scot Brown, Ph.D.
Alyssa Clutterbuck
Jonathan B. Fenderson, Ph.D.
Frances Henderson, Ph.D.
Keisha Hicks
Jody-Anne Jones
Candace Katungi
Jimmy Kirby, Jr.
LaTaSha Levy
Yusuf A. Muhammad, Jr.
K. Terrence Oliver
Saira Raza
Ann Wilde
Benjamin Woods

The My Fellow American Project

2011-09-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

So for full disclosure I was sent a link about this project and asked if I thought my readers (whoever you are) would be interested in learning more about this project. So I went exploring. This is I think that my readers WOULD be interested so I decided I did want to write a post about it.

See the My Fellow American project is (from the website): "an online film and social media project that calls upon concerned Americans to pledge and spread a message that Muslims are our fellow Americans...Using the power of social media, My Fellow American seeks to change the narrative – from Muslims as the other, to Muslims as our fellow Americans."

On the website you can pledge to spread this message of acceptance for Muslims in the US and then make videos or tell your story of how you personally know American Muslims (and how they have effected your life.)

I'll admit that at first this seemed a little hokey to me. But the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. The thing is this is a project aimed at educating people who don't really know anything about Islam, Muslim cultureS, and/or Muslim life in the United States.

I grew up in a city that has a large and highly visible Muslim community (it in fact has multiple Muslim communities.) I grew up aware (though I would not say knowledgeable) of Islam and had kids in my school of various racial, ethnic, and national backgrounds who identified as Muslim in my classes. Dare I say some of my best friends were/are Muslim. (That sounds like a line--intentionally--but it is also true.) So it wasn't long before it stopped being a big deal to me to know Muslim kids. Then 9/11 happened. I was a sophomore in high school. I remember waking up the next day and being afraid for my friends lives. I remember how we would go to school and hear about how so and so's brother/uncle/father had been harassed or how someone's mom was being super weird about them hanging out at night.

I don't in my day to day world spend a lot of time with people who are ignorant about Islam (or the various cultural backgrounds that followers of the faith come from.) So when I was sent info about this project my initial response was: why is this necessary? But the truth is that many, if not most, people in the US don't *think* that they have any connections to Islam or Muslims in America.

There is a very insidious othering project going on in media every day in this country (and others) that produces a narrative about how Muslims are strange outsiders. Work that attempts to highlight that this is happening and that we can each be a part of changing that narrative. Because the truths are these: Islam is a religious/cultural practice that is embraced by a majority of the worlds population--including the US. Muslims come from all kinds of racial/ethnic/cultural backgrounds. I was born in rural Texas in a predominately Black community and I have family members who are Muslim. Another fact, Muslims have had a significant role in shaping the development of this nation since it's inception. (One can easily point to the religious practices of enslaved Africans brought to North America.) Islam is deeply imbedded in the history of my community as Black Muslim movements in the early 20th century, US can be directly linked to the Civil Rights Era and Black politics hereafter (perhaps most famously embodied by the lives and work of El Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, or Malcolm X, and his wife Betty Shabazz.)

Some videos form the project:

Russell Simmons. Me and this guy have our problems but I won't pretend like he doesn't do good work.
Plus he's probably one of the most religiously open people in hip-hop which is great.

Filmmaker Malik Aziz

Chantae Campbell

Donna Taylor

--------------------

I took the pledge. I was sad to see how few people have taken the pledge thus far. I hope more do. I hope this helps.

And even if people don't take this particular pledge I hope we can all keep working towards a world that is not merely 'tolerant' but truly accepting.

A little Rap Story

2011-07-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

So this is happening on the internet today.

It's a website of fan support for DMX, who is once again in the media spotlight for something other than amazing talent. Now I don't think anyone can make someone else get sober. You can get them clean for a while, but unless addict believes in the change for themselves, there is nothing that won't stop them from relapsing. Hell, believing in the change doesn't even insure that they won't relapse. Addiction is a powerful thing. But I do believe in showing *detached* support.

It is hard for me to see one of my heroes going through these problems. Not only because it reminds how easily others in my life have fallen, but because of the men in the world that I know with addictions, DMX is truly, one of the few that I hoped would be able to embrace sobriety and have it stick. I'm not mad or disappointed (or I try not to be) because I get that addiction doesn't work on normal timetables. But damn, I wouldn't be who I AM if it wasn't for It's Dark and Hell Is Hot and Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood.

So the story goes I was 13 or 14 and so depressed that I would sleep for 15 hours a day, at that age it mean that I woke up to go to school, came home, and went to bed. I had to be urged into eating and sometimes I skipped meals. I seemed happy to a lot of people but then I've always been a semi-functional depressant. And these two albums where the soundtrack of my dreams. I listened to them over and over. And when I couldn't' express my anger at the betrayals and disappoinments in my own life, the graphic violence of X's songs allowed me to displace myself into this whole other world. It was like a transcendent experience. I truly believe God brought me to that music because it taught me how to feel again (if you know stories about my childhood the numbness makes more sense.)

I knew I wanted to do hip-hop studies since I was a senior in high school. As soon as I discovered that there was a place in academia (which I planned to go into since the 7th grade as I figured that education would be my key to escape the pain of my childhood) to talk about the importance of the music, that people would listen to me talk for hours about the amazing lyrical feats of the artist that I loved...I was HOOKED. Then I got to college and realized no one wanted a girl like me (who sounded like I was from a nice middle class suburban family) to talk about the songs that I wanted to talk about. Everyone wanted me to write another treatise about what new-wave feminism thought of this trite, misogynistic, commercial (a bad word), deformation of the art of rap.

I couldn't write that, I still can't. And I spent/spend my days thinking about why the world isn't ready for educated Black women to love hardcore, so-called gangster rap. I picked up the pen to write about hip-hop, to write academically at all, for the first time to write about X, to write about the politics of anger, to write about the travesty that is the way that most academics write about gangster/hardcore hip hop.

By the time I was at a place where I could write my own paper topics in college, X was already on his whirlwind jail tour. He was the butt of many a crackhead joke and for many had lost all rights to respect from hip-hop fans. And it hurt so much. It hurts even more to be writing from a place where I'm finally working on my mental health issues and starting on the journey of my life which will always, I believe, involve a struggle with depression. And to see the man whose words have gotten me through sooo many dark times to be still laid so low by his own demons.

DMX gave God back to me. By the time I was 13 I was convinced that She* couldn't love someone like me, that all evidence point towards a truth in much of the hate speech I heard growing up about God's relationship to 'evil homosexuals.' I'm not saying X disagrees with that message (which still saddens me to this day) but I believed him when he wrote about God loving even the most despised of us. One of my most prized possessions in the world is a copy of a DMX prayer that my older sister painted for me when I went off to college. It goes everywhere with me and always has a place of prominence in my home.

So with that I turn it over to God. Asking that He keeps Her hands on X through all of this and hoping that God will grant him the gift of sobriety just one more time (and one more time after that.)

*Sidenote because I know it's confusing: I don't believe that God has a specific gender so I switch up the pronouns even mid sentence. I am also old school (sometimes) in that I capitalize the G and any pronouns that do refer to the Higher Power (who I choose to call God.)

Fwd: Corcoran Super-Max Prisoners to Join Pelican Bay Hunger Strike July 1

2011-06-21T10:21:00.001-07:00

FYI. I will have to comment further after I have time and mental space to be more well read in the issue. However, my initial thoughts are these:

A corrupt system cannot hold (it might adapt, but it cannot maintain as is.) While I am frustrated with the language of "the [blank]-industrial-complex", it is true that the U.S. capitalist economy has always needed un(der) paid labor to maintain it's vitality and prisons have, since the legal end to slavery and sharecropping, have been our way of "finding" that labor. It is not an accident that all these systems of labor exploitation have been built around the bodies of Black and Brown peoples (men and women.)

A corrupt system cannot hold. What will we build in it's place?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Moderator
Date: Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 6:22 AM
Subject: Corcoran Super-Max Prisoners to Join Pelican Bay Hunger Strike July 1
To: H-AFRO-AM@h-net.msu.edu

From: norman.o.richmond@gmail.com
From: *Kiilu Nyasha* <kiilu2@sbcglobal.net <mailto:kiilu2@sbcglobal.net>>

*Subject: **[Ppnews] Corcoran Super-Max Prisoners to Join Pelican Bay Hunger Strike July 1*
*Reply-To: *claude@freedomarchives.org <mailto:claude@freedomarchives.org>

Greetings,

I am writing from behind the walls of Corcoran State Prison and am in an isolation super max section (i.e. short corridor) behind political beliefs not compatible to the state, and therefore isolated not only from general population, but also other prisoners. I am writing to inform your organization that we prisoners here at C.S.P. Corcoran are going to take part in the Pelican Bay State Prison's *Hunger Strike.* (emphasis in original) I have enclosed a copy of our letter of solidarity and would kindly ask if you could make copies or submit it in one of your publications so as to inform the general public of our fight to change the inhuman conditions we are subjected to for our political beliefs or falsely identified as politically active in an organization. It would be greatly appreciated. Enclosed is a copy of our solidarity letter.

Haribu L.M. Soriano-Mugabi
C.S.P. Corcoran
P.O. Box 3481
Corcoran, CA 93212

Statement of Solidarity with the Pelican Bay Collective Hunger Strike on July 1st.
From: the N.C.T.T. Corcoran SHU

Greetings to all who support freedom, justice, and equality. We here of the N.C.T.T. SHU stand in solidarity with, and in full support of the July 1st hunger strike and the 5 major action points and sub-points as laid out by the Pelican Bay Collective in the Policy Statements (See, "Archives", P.B.S.P.-SHU-D corridor hunger strike).

What many are unaware of is that facility 4B here in Corcoran SHU is designated to house validated prisoners in indefinite SHU confinement and have an identical ultra-super max isolation unit short corridor modeled after corridor D in Pelican Bay, complete with blacked out windows a mirror tinted glass on the towers so no one but the gun tower can see in [into our cells], and none of us can see out; flaps welded to the base of the doors and sandbags on the tiers to prevent "fishing" [a means of passing notes, etc. between cells using lengths of string]; IGI [Institutional Gang Investigators] transports us all to A.C.H. [?] medical appointments and we have no contact with any prisoners or staff outside of this section here in 4B/1C C Sectionthe "short corridor" of the Corcoran SHU. All of the deprivations (save access to sunlight); outlines in the 5-point hunger strike statement are mirrored, and in some instances intensified here in the Corcoran SHU 4B/1C C Section isolation gang unit.

Medical care here, in a facility allegedly designed to house chronic care and prisoners with psychological problems, is so woefully inadequate that it borders on intentional disdain for the health of prisoners, especially where diabetics and cancer are an issue. Access to the law library is denied for the most mundane reasons, or, most often, no reason at all. Yet these things and more are outlined in the P.B.S.P.-SHU five core demands.

What is of note here, and something that should concern all U.S. citizens, is the increasing use of behavioral control (torture units) and human experimental techniques against prisoners not only in California but across the nation. Indefinite confinement, sensory deprivation, withholding food, constant illumination, use of unsubstantiated lies from informants are the psychological billy clubs being used in these torture units. The purpose of this "treatment" is to stop prisoners from standing in opposition to inhumane prison conditions and prevent them from exercising their basic human rights.

Many lawsuits have been filed in opposition to the conditions in these conditions … [unreadable] yet the courts have repeatedly re-interpreted and misinterpreted their own constitutional law … [unreadable] to support the state's continued use of these torture units. When approved means of protest and redress of rights are prove meaningless and are fully exhausted, then the pursuit of those ends through other means is necessary.

It is important for all to know the Pelican Bay Collective is *not* (emphasis in original) alone in this struggle and the broader the participation and support for this hunger strike, the other such efforts, the greater the potential that our sacrifice now will mean a more humane world for us in the future. We urge all who reads these words to support us in this effort with your participation or your voicescall your local news agencies, notify your friends on social networks, contact your legislators, tell your fellow faithful at church, mosques, temple or synagogues. Decades before Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Pelican Bay and Corcoran SHUs were described by Congressman Ralph Metcalfe as "the control unit treatment program is long-term punishment under the guise of what is, in fact, pseudo-scientific experimentation."

Our indefinite isolation here is both inhumane and illegal and the proponents of the prison industrial complex are hoping that their campaign to dehumanize us has succeeded to the degree that you don't care and will allow the torture to continue in your name. It is our belief that they have woefully underestimated the decency, principles, and humanity of the people. Join us in opposing this injustice without end. Thank you for your time and support.

In Solidarity,
N.C.T.T. Corcoran – SHU
4B/1C – C Section
Super-max isolation Unit

From the Renaissance Male Project:

2011-05-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

This was a very interesting video. I saw it on a women's studies listserv I believe. The post said something about a Black male feminist speaks on masculinity. I am always conflicted about the conversation about Masculinity and Feminism. I believe whole heartedly that feminism needs to engage itself with broad notions of gender. I also believe that it is important that we maintain a strong critique of patriarchy.

I am...uncomfortable at best with the way those two things concepts turn into a discourse of feminism needing to be about men and boys now to be relevant. Feminism as always been, in part, about men and boys in my opinion. It has struggled with how patriarchy shapes masculinity. But let's not pretend that masculinist discourses are part and parcel WITH patriarchy. Saying that feminism needs to take men and boys seriously (often instead of women and girls) is antithetical in my opinion to the project of feminism.

I think we have to check ourselves about how masculinist (masculinity-centered)discourses are creeping into feminism. First of all masculinity is not only the purview of men and boys. But even more importantly (for me at least) femininity is not some safe, neutral space that 'doesn't need' feminism any longer.

I was recently at a conference talking about gender and hip-hop. And I made a comment about the fact that while we have begun to celebrate the visibility of les/bi/queer/sgl women in rap music, we can't let go of the fact that in order to be taken seriously in the genre one has to (it seems) represent a masculine persona. While feminine men rappers are (slowly) becoming more visible, feminine women who participate in the culture as artist or fans are largely invisible in the discourse around gender and rap music culture. Why is that? Where as masculinity is slowly being rested from the hands of heterosexuality, femininity is still considered by most synonymous with heterosexuality or heteronormativity. And even though we have the category of 'femme' it is so wrapped up STILL to masculinity and female-bodiness. Masculinity travels, has gradients, and shifts. But femininity is still seen as such a rigid set of protocols, rituals, and behaviors.

All that to say I'm glad that men and boys are tuning into feminism but I'm not ready to hand it over to them solely. (Not saying that is what this project is calling for.)

(Also, I am not about the anti-porn rhetoric of the video either.)

Beyoncé - Run The World (Girls)

2011-05-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

I surprisingly love this video. From the fashion to the lyrics even the dancing. I keep waiting for Bey to make her Control song. I mean I think she 'did' but it wasn't believable for me.

This is how they made me, Houston, TX baby

(Now if she would get some sense and stop posing in BLACKFACE we could be good again.)

More thoughts on Smith's Hosting Policy in Regards to Trans* students

2011-04-15T07:51:00.001-07:00

The below post was actually written in response to something posted to an alum listserv that has taken up this issue.

---
So I want to respond to the claim that it is inappropriate for Smith guys to host high school girls. I want to know what makes that inappropriate? Because of the possibility of sexual contact between the prospective and their host? Doesn't that assume a sexual identity for Smith guys? I mean some of those guys could have absolutely no interest in girl prospective students sexually. And even if they were/are attracted women, why is there an assumption that there would be some kind of inappropriate behavior? Does this mean that les/bi/queer women who have sex with women should also not host prospective students because of the potential (in this logic) for sexual attraction and exploitation.

And if we aren't saying that there most definitely would be misconduct, we are doing what? Trying to protect the reputation of the prospective students from potential implications of their character after staying with guy students? Again, doesn't this same logic mean that we would also have to 'protect' prospective students from potential implications of staying with 'known' les/bi/queer women as well.

I was very active in hosting students while I was at Smith, and I had more than one prospective student who became visibly uncomfortable when they realized they were staying with a bisexual woman. Now I could have said forget it I just won't host students because I don't have to do deal with the (extremely erroneous) assumption that my sexual identity some how made me a potential predator of prospective students. It was an insulting implication. However, I knew (from being told directly) that many young women, especially young women of color, who visit Smith are never told about the presences of les/bi/queer community on campus and felt lied to about the nature of the school when they arrived. My position was that by hosting prospective students (and organizing events during prospective weekends) I was helping potential future smithies make more informed decisions about the institution they would be joining.

However, it was never my intent or desire to make prospective students feel uncomfortable during their stay. If a student expressed (or I perceived) a discomfort with having to sleep in my dorm I would talk with them and then make alternative arrangements. Most of us lived in houses with common areas (living rooms, study rooms) where prospective students can and do stay in already. Creating alternative sleeping arrangements did not mean abandoning my prospective students. I still checked on them, took them to meals, and tried to answer their questions about Smith.

My point is this, to me the point of the hosting program isn't to 'protect' the prospective students from the different kinds of people that the might encounter while at Smith. Yes, I believe that we should strive to connect prospective students with people who share interests with that student. Gender identity and sexual identity aren't interests. I hosted plenty of straight identified prospective students (as well as students who were of different racial, ethnic, socio-economic, and/or religious backgrounds) because we had common Smith-specific interest.

The assumption that the *only* thing that is going to be important to prospective students when they get hosted at Smith is the gender identity of their host seems counter intuitive to me. And even if that is something important to a prospective student or some prospective students doesn't mean it will be for all. We can (and should) have strategies to deal with students who decide that they don't want to be hosted by a Smith guy but I don't think we have to take guys out of the hosting pool altogether. I think that sends the wrong message about the unity within Smith community. It to me says there are certain differences which are too unique to be overcome by our Smithie commonalities.

In response to more trans* discrimination at Smith

2011-04-13T22:52:00.001-07:00

An Open Letter

To all who are concerned about the latest iteration of this issue:

I just wanted to write as an alum in support of trans* rights at Smith. As I have said in other places Smith needs to be more clear about gender identity in our discrimination policy and that clarity *must* include protections for trans* students. It is, to me, irresponsible of Smith to accept trans* students (which I believe that we should) and not have a clear stance on gender identity discrimination.

I would encourage people to read Smith's Notice of Nondiscrimination (which in many ways is very forward thinking) but which is speciously absent of any language about gender identity. Link: http://www.smith.edu/global_nondisc.php

While I can understand that Smith has to be careful in its language about nondiscrimination on the basis of gender because of our primary identification as a women's college (a designation that I am proud of), I think that we can and should (if we purport to be an institution engaged in a feminist education) challenge ourselves to consider ways of supporting and protecting trans*, intersex, and gender non-conforming students. I gather from my time at Smith that many were afraid to take this issue to its fullest extent and require that Smith's Board of Directors would respond with language that was more exclusive of trans* students. I think that this is a legitimate fear (not because of any particular claims against the Board of Directors) but instead because we would in essence be loosing any 'wiggle room' that having ambiguous policies affords. As I see it however, at the moment that the ambiguity of policy language, becomes a tool of discrimination we have to reexamine our stance.

Our policy is to "[maintain] an atmosphere of mutual respect and appreciation of differences." Discrimination against trans* students, faculty, and staff be it during the application process, during their tenure with the college, or beyond compromises that atmosphere. Regardless of whether any individual or group hold a belief that trans* students do not belong on campus, actions that support a hostile environment of *any* student or group of students is in my mind in direct violation of the Notice of Nondiscrimination and should be dealt with accordingly.

I hope that this helps and I want to wish the members of TG and anyone else organizing good health. Especially for students, remember, that you have multiple priorities (and one of them is academics) and that you are allowed to set those for yourself. Too often marginalized students are expected to take on the majority of the organizational work and emotional weight of activism at the direct expense of their own academic and economic stability. Don't let anyone tell you you need to compromise either of those things to be a good activist. Take care of yourselves, get some rest, have some laughs, and if you're commencing this year enjoy it.

Jocelyn '08

Fwd: Attention: AUTISTIC COMMUNITY CONCERNED ABOUT UPCOMING PBS SPECIAL "AUTISM TODAY"

2011-04-12T10:41:00.001-07:00

Since joining the mailing list for ASAN I've had to really challenge the way that I see advocacy work in the United States. It's open my mind to a lot of the ways that the infantilize and ignore the voices of disabled people. I have been recently talking about my own disabilities more because I am learning that I need to be a self-advocate. I really applaud ASAN for tirelessly (well actually I'm sure everyone is tired on occasion) standing up for themselves.

I probably won't watch the PBS show mentioned but I would love to hear what others have to say about it if they do watch.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Autistic Self Advocacy Network <newsletter@autisticadvocacy.org>
Date: Tue, Apr 12, 2011 at 7:25 AM
Subject: Attention: AUTISTIC COMMUNITY CONCERNED ABOUT UPCOMING PBS SPECIAL "AUTISM TODAY"
To: Gogo

AUTISTIC COMMUNITY CONCERNED ABOUT

ROBERT MACNEIL'S UPCOMING PBS SPECIAL

"AUTISM TODAY"

PBS NewsHour Special "Autism Today" Leaves Out Key Stakeholders, Relies on Old Stereotypes

WASHINGTON, DC (April 11^th, 2011) - In the midst of autism awareness month, early questions are emerging about next week's PBS NewsHour six-part special about the autism spectrum. The highly promoted series - titled "Autism Today" - is generating controversy from an unexpected source: Autistic people themselves. Today, the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) released a statement expressing concern over the failure of NewsHour co-founder and reporter Robert MacNeil to interview representatives of any organizations run by Autistic adults and the presence of concerning stereotypes about Autistic Americans in the promotional material.

"We are very concerned about the upcoming NewsHour special," said ASAN President Ari Ne'eman, "While we will obviously be judging the final product when it airs, it appears from the promotional material that no Autistic-run organizations were interviewed or consulted during its creation - and that the series may rely on erroneous and offensive tropes claiming that Autistic people are violent, less than human and incapable of empathy."

Early promotional material from PBS show that while MacNeil interviewed many parents, physicians and educators for the series, no organizations run by Autistic adults themselves were consulted or approached. In fact, no information exists as to whether or not Mr. MacNeil interviewed any Autistic people during his reporting about the autism spectrum.

"As an Autistic young adult, I am concerned about how this upcoming PBS series may misrepresent me and my disability," said 17-year old Autistic high schooler Lydia Brown of Melrose, Massachusetts. "I want journalism that addresses the systemic problems behind the challenges I and other autistic people face instead of reporting that plays into the popular media's misleading and harmful stereotypes about Autistic people."

In an interview about the series on PBS.org, MacNeil stated his feeling that Autistic Americans lack "the most human thing we have, which is our ability to look into each others eyes and feel that other person's existence and what might be going on in their mind, and to empathize with them." Later during the interview, MacNeil made unsupported statements suggesting that Autistic adults are disproportionately and randomly violent as compared to the general population.

"We urge PBS to work with the Autistic community to review the series prior to airtime to correct any errors of fact or ethics," said Ne'eman, "Furthermore, let me take this opportunity to invite Mr. MacNeil to meet with representatives from the community of Autistic adults. I think he'd find it very educational. It is our sincere hope that PBS does not exclude this perspective in future programming about the autism spectrum."

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) is the nation's leading advocacy organization run entirely by and for Autistic adults and youth. ASAN's supporters include Autistic adults and youth, cross-disability advocates, family members, professionals, educators and friends. ASAN was created to provide support and services to individuals on the autism spectrum while working to change public perception and combat misinformation by educating communities about persons on the autism spectrum. The organization's activities include public policy advocacy, community engagement to encourage inclusion and respect for neurodiversity, quality of life oriented research and the development of Autistic cultural activities and other opportunities for Autistic people to engage with others on the spectrum.

The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) is a non-profit organization run by and for Autistic people, fighting for disability rights in the world of autism. Working in fields such as public policy, media representation, research and systems change, ASAN hopes to empower Autistic people across the world to take control of their own lives and the future of our common community.

You are receiving this email as part of ASAN Updates to bloggers within the Autistic and Disability Rights communities.

Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions or feedback, and let us know if you would prefer to receive these announcements at a different address or to be removed from the list.

Forward email

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EdenFantasys: A Look at Sexis Magazine

2011-04-08T14:01:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite aspects of Edenfantasys.com is their magazine Sexis. Sexis Magazine has a lot of different features and writers. They have columns, projects, and random bits of news about sex and sexuality around the world. For example, their popular culture section has a column called Powerfully Feminine and they (and by that I mean Sexis Associate Editor, Renee Veronica Lucas) just ran a story about my girl Nicki Minaj.

Sexis Magazine is broken down into eight sections: Sex, Society, Health, Humor, Body, Shopping, Green, and Erotica. They have everything from advice columns (CHECK OUT TUESDAYS WITH NINA (Hartley, world famous porn star and sex educator) to the extremely funny "Top Ten Strangest Things Column by The Blogess. Top Ten is a list of strange links sent to the Bloggess for each month. It is always hilarious and often a little bit creepy (for me.) Warning: if you can't joke about fetishes then not the column for you. (Hey fetishes can be funny, sometimes we like things that just make no sense to other people. And they deal with that by humor. As long as its not mean spirited I don't care.) And I'm just going to drop in a second recommendation for Tuesdays with Nina. Nina Hartley is an *amazing* sex educator/advice columnist. I love the format of the show (you email Nina your questions and she does a video response.) If you ask for resources, Nina not only talks about them in the video but also posts links. I love the relaxed and matter of fact way that she goes about talking about responding to questions.

Anyway, go check out Sexis Magazine. Tell me what you think. What other online magazines/communities do you go to for your sex and sexuality news and entertainment?

Girl Feminism and Trans*kids

2011-04-04T23:45:00.001-07:00

Recently a good friend of mine, Ileana Jiminez of Feminist Teacher, wrote a blog post called Teaching Boys Feminism. This blog post appeared in a larger series on Feminism and Education held by Gender Across Boarders and Equality 101. The article got me to thinking (I realize that is grammatically incorrect.) I was reminiscing on my own beginnings with feminism as a young girl.

Now for various reasons I both loved and hated what I will call "girl feminism." When I was young the wave of Third Wave/girl of color feminist projects were just starting to get published. Being a girl of color I felt like I was one of maybe six people on the planet (or in my middle school and high school at least) who cared about feminism. I was friends with most of the others and related to a few more. I read Ophelia Speaks at least once a year. And I stubbornly insisted on reading books with female protagonist. And then my twin sister introduced me to a book called The Last Time I Wore A Dress. Now The Last Time isn't actually about a trans*kid. It's instead about how a young woman (she was like 16 when the book starts if I'm remembering correctly) gets mistaken as being a trans*kid and is institutionalized because of it.

This book was very important in shaping how I though about gender. Not because of how the main characters 'true' gender gets recognized. The main character (whose name I of course cannot remember, if it is in fact ever mentioned) has a pretty ambivalent relationship to gender anyway. Its just that the particular "psychological diagnosis" given to her is untrue. She in fact does not feel gender dysphoria, or at least does not express this explicitly (I was in high school I could have missed something.) But again not the point. The point is that the book helped me to understand the brutal nature through which institutions define and redefine sex for young people.

I was sensitive (though I would not call myself knowledgable) about non-confirming gender identity from that point forward. I was coming out to myself as bi around the same time and quite confused as to why I didn't seem to want to be the butch but felt uncomfortable playing the role of femme. (I now identify proudly as a femme but for many years I was certain that my kind of gender wasn't femme enough to be femme.) I drank up films and books about non-comforming gender kids/people (when I could find them, it is not exactly the most readily available genre.) I read fanfic and rpf and original fiction. ( I have to pause here and recommend Smitty aka Susan Smith's Of Drag Kings and The Wheel of Fate, it was the first place I heard of drag kings long before anyone ever assigned me any Halberstam. It was offered online for free when I was young--Go Xena Fandom!--but is now only available for purchase. GO BUY IT. It's not perfect, and its a definitely a romance novel, but its amazing. And complicated and I just love it.)

And yet this girl feminism that I was so invested in said nothing about this topic. Girl feminism the difference between a vulva and a vagina and that I should *love* mine. I did love mine. But I knew not everyone with a vulva loved them. And girl feminism didn't talk about that. It didn't talk about binding. If you cut off your hair and wore pants it might be because you were a tomboy or a lesbian or a bisexual. But it couldn't be because you were trans*. Being trans* was never even mentioned.

I think what projects like Ileana's of targeting multiple genders of kids to talk about feminism can do is to break that silence. That its not just about learning what kinds of masculinities or feminities that girls and boys can inhabit beyond the white-washed hetero-patriarchal ones set out by society. But that their gender is something that isn't tied to their bodies. I think more kids are exploring gender non-conformity not from a stance against conformity writ-large but specifically from gender binaries. I wounder if our youth feminism (girl or boy or whatever) is prepared to go there with them.

Fwd: FAQ about CDC's Proposed Diagnostic Code for Wandering Behavior

2011-03-25T19:02:00.001-07:00

Received this in the mail yesterday. Why do I keep getting news about new ways of categorizing and the tracking disabled people popping up. The thought of "anti-wandering" devices scare the crap out of me.

I get that people might want to know where "loved" ones with disabilities are. HOWEVER, there isn't proof that this 'wandering' isn't in fact a decision made by an individual to leave a space. And I think giving people access to *tracking* other people is dangerous. I am not convinced that all *tracking* (yes I'm intentionally using hunting language) would be from a "loving" place. And regardless if someone *tracks* someone else because they believe it to be a "loving" move that doesn't mean that the person being *tracked* feels the same way. And I am personally more concerned with the perspective/safety of those who might be *tracked* than for the extra effort/time/whatever it might take the *tracker* to find someone.

I also don't like the thought that we're going to change the Diagnostic Code based on the desires of insurance companies.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Autistic Self Advocacy Network <newsletter@autisticadvocacy.org>
Date: Thu, Mar 24, 2011 at 5:00 AM
Subject: FAQ about CDC's Proposed Diagnostic Code for Wandering Behavior
To: JoJo

Frequently Asked Questions about

CDC's Proposed ICD-9-CM Diagnostic Code

for Wandering Behavior

Prepared by the Autistic Self Advocacy Network

Q: What is this proposed "wandering" code that so many people are talking about?

A: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has proposed the addition of a new diagnostic code to the International Classification of Diseases, Ninth Revision, Clinical Modification (ICD-9-CM) for wandering behavior^¹. The ICD-9-CM is the United States government's official system of assigning codes to medical diagnoses and procedures.

Q: Why are disability advocacy and professional organizations concerned by this new proposed coding?

A: Disability advocacy and professional organizations from a wide variety of backgrounds, including the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), The Arc, TASH, the National Association of State Directors of Developmental Disabilities Services (NASDDDS), the National Disability Rights Network (NDRN) and others, are worried about the potential unintended consequences that may emerge from a medical diagnostic code for wandering behavior. Some of the reasons for these concerns include:

No research exists to classify "wandering" as a medical rather than a behavioral phenomenon and the code has no definition that would differentiate wandering as a medical symptom from behavior of individuals who simply wish to move from one place to another for any number of reasons.

By turning the behavior of wandering into a medical diagnosis, people with disabilities with the most significant challenges in communication could be made more vulnerable. For many adults and children who cannot speak, attempting to leave a situation is one of the few options available to communicate abuse, a sensorily overwhelming environment or boredom from repetition of the same tasks over and over. By creating a medical code for wandering, professionals could misinterpret behavior as a medical symptom and miss the legitimate concern the individual is trying to communicate..

A wandering code could be utilized by service-providers, educators and other professionals to restrict the freedom of people with disabilities, particularly those in residential service-provision settings. This code could easily be used to justify the use of overly restrictive placements and techniques, such as restraint and seclusion, institutionalization, restrictions on freedom of movement and chemical restraint.

Q: Isn't this code just going to help gather data?

A: One of the stated objectives of this code is to help gather additional data on wandering behavior. However, that is not the only purpose of this new coding. First, advocates of this proposed wandering diagnostic code have stated from the beginning that part of the purpose of this is to shift clinical practice as well as to get private insurance to pay for tracking devices and other anti-wandering measures. Second, CDC's proposal states that among the things this proposal is designed to promote are provider deliberations on safety. While safety discussions are important and necessary, many advocates are seriously concerned that this wandering code will skew those discussions to increasingly more restrictive service-provision settings as "preventative measure" against wandering.

Furthermore, there are other methods of gathering data than creating an ICD-9-CM medical diagnostic code.. Questions on wandering behavior have already been added to a national health survey to be conducted by the Health Resources Services Administration (HRSA) as well as to an additional survey effort organized by private funders. This represents a much less intrusive way of gathering information on this phenomenon without labeling people and without the potential unintended consequences associated with a medical wandering ICD-9-CM diagnostic code.

Q: I've heard conflicting things about the public's opportunity to comment on this coding. Some people have said that the proposal was made available months in advance - others have said that the CDC only informed the public about this new coding the day before the public hearing on the topic was scheduled to occur. What's true?

A: While the agenda for the public hearing on new ICD-9-CM codes was made available in February and wandering was listed as a topic under the agenda, details of the proposal - including the lack of any operational definition of wandering and the broad language the proposed code utilizes - were not made available until the evening of March 8^th, the day before the March 9^th-10^th meeting of the ICD-9-CM Coordination and Maintenance Committee meeting. As a result, by the time that advocates had the opportunity to review the specifics of what CDC's proposal included, the public hearing had already been closed to new attendees.

Q: What does the research say about wandering and the advisability of an ICD-9-CM code for it?

A: No research exists that suggests that wandering behavior is a medical rather than a behavioral issue. Of the seven citations CDC uses in their proposal two are incidence studies used to establish the rate of intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder in the general population, four are studies used to establish that wandering occurs in the intellectual and developmental disability population and that deaths do sometimes occur at the same time that accidents occur, and one is an online survey from an advocacy group's website. None of the seven citations includes any information that supports looking at wandering as a medical rather than a behavioral issue.

Q: What about children who wander and are injured or even die, and what do the opponents of this new code suggest we do to help them?

A: A number of options exist for addressing wandering behavior that results in children and adults ending up in dangerous situations, without resorting to overly restrictive or even abusive practices, or needlessly restricting freedom of movement of people with disabilities. One proposal that has received support from advocates on both sides of the proposed ICD-9-CM code would be to include children with disabilities in the AMBER Alert system, which exists to mobilize communities to respond to abducted children. Other options that have been proposed include additional educational and behavioral supports, accessible swimming lessons, police training and other measures, which do not carry the same risks as an ICD-9-CM diagnostic coding.

Q: Who will be making the final decisions about this coding and how can I communicate my opinions on it to them?

A: The final decision on the coding proposal will be made by the Director of the National Center for Health Statistics within CDC, Dr. Edward J. Sondik.The period for written public comment extends to April 1^st, 2011. Written public comment should be e-mailed to Donna Pickett at dfp4@cdc.gov or sent by regular mail to the address below:

ATT: Wandering ICD-9-CM Code

National Center for Health Statistics

ICD-9-CM Coordination and Maintenance Committee

3311 Toledo Road, Room 2402

Hyattsville, Maryland 20782

1http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/icd9/TopicpacketforMarch2011_HA1.pdf

Remember, we only have till April 1st! Thank you for taking the time to weigh in and we appreciate your support as we continue the struggle against abuse and for our civil and human rights.

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network

http://www.autisticadvocacy.org/

info@autisticadvocacy.org

(202) 596-1056

A Post on Invisible Disabilities: Or Why Having an Anxiety Disorder Sucks

2011-03-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

I am writing this when I should be finishing a paper. A paper that I have been "finishing" for about 8 days now.

I really hate having an anxiety disorder. I hate being anxious all the time but honestly I'm learning to cope with that. (Joining an anxiety support group has really helped.) But more than that I hate not being able to really explain my disability to others. It goes like this (for me): we all get anxious sometimes, are nervous, have task we don't like to do. What makes you special? Why should you get special treatment for something EVERYBODY deals with ALL THE TIME.

It doesn't help that (if I were in a different mood I totally wouldn't talk about this in this way, but this is the mood that I'm in) I am often seen as a high functioning person. I am a leader, I get shit done. People don't often see (and I'm intentional about not showing them) all of the work that goes into me performing from day to day. So when I have melt downs (high stress triggers for my anxiety that cause me to just kind of--stop) it seems to come out of the blue. Or at least I think it does. This makes me feel like a flake. It's not good for my depression.

I don't really know a lot of people who struggle *openly* with anxiety/depression and most of those I do know seem to function better than i do. Maybe this isn't true. Maybe they just have good walls up. I'm very uneasy about the end of my anxiety group which is coming up soon (limited space so I can re-enroll) because its the only place i've ever been able to talk explicitly about my anxiety and have people understand how well debilitating it can be. Seeing other people and hearing their stories about such and such 'run of the mill' task (sorry for confidentiality I won't reveal details that I've heard) being terrifying for them makes me feel better when I can't get on the bus in the morning (I have a lot of fear around riding buses, I do it now because I don't have a functioning car.) Or when I cancel a meet up with friends because the thought of having to be outdoors after dark scares the shit out of me.

Being anxious is not an easy thing to do while being a STRONG Black woman. It's near impossible (I think many Black women might also have issues with anxiety that go untreated/undiscussed because of this mentality.) In my better days I think of myself as strong because I'm willing to face the anxiety head on (I still get on the bus) but that mindset means that days when I don't/can't deal and just hole up inside myself I am often very down on myself of being "weak" or submitting to the anxiety. And if there is one thing I hate...it's feeling weak. This just causes me to double the bad (add to the bad situation) by harranging myself over things that often are often not that big a deal.

Ultimately, part of the problem lies in how much I am affected by others acknowledgement. Because people cannot see (unless you get behind close doors and see the sweats and crying and etc) my disabilities, I fear they won't "believe" in them. If people don't believe in them then they think I'm faking, taking the easy route, avoiding (well I do do that), and a whole host of other terms that mean I don't have a real problem. I want to get to a place where I don't need other people's validation of my disability to feel comfortable having an off day and I am less functional than my usual level. (When I'm on I could care less what people think about my disabilities.) I try to remember that my function level is not a constant (nor is anyone elses) the reasons for the shifts in function level are different for everyone and no one reason is more valid than the other (and the inverse none are invalid).

All that to say I wish it was as easy to write this fucking paper as it is to type this post.

EdenFantasys: A Look at the Eden Community

2011-03-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

So as you guys know I sometimes blog on behalf of EdenFantasys.com through their ambassador program. Today, I want to focus on a feature of the Eden community that I'm just starting to take advantage of: Eden forum clubs.

How it all works (for me):

A while ago I signed up to get "Community Updates" via email from EF. So once A week I'll get an email that looks kind of like this:

Hello everyone!

It's time again to update your calendar with the exciting new events, workshops, and club meetings coming up over the next few weeks. Check them out, mark them down on your calendar, and always tell a friend!

Upcoming events:

* Contributor of the Month Club (Tuesday, March 22nd)
Come see who has been named the contributor of the month, and offer your congratulations!

* Naked Reader Book Club (Tuesday, March 22nd, 8pm - 10pm EST)
March's theme is "Do You Like to Watch?" Join the second March meeting for a discussion of one of the current club books "Just Watch Me".

* Eden Lives Healthy (Wednesday, March 23rd, 8pm - 9pm EST)
This month, the club will focus on last month's goals with water consumption and will also talk about the goal for April. Contest ideas will also be discussed.

* Eden Bloggers (March 31st, 7pm - 8pm EST)
Having trouble with writer's block? This month's meeting of Eden Bloggers, entitled "How to Get Inspiration for Blog Posts", will present ideas for coming up with a post topic, and extra inspiration will be provided by this month's special guest LunaKM!

Join our community now, and join in the fun!

The Eden Team.

Each event has a hyperlink that takes me to a club forum. I'm just starting to use this feature so I can't give one to one details on it (largely because I don't want to misinform you.) But the general gist of it is that I follow the link and favorite the specific post in prep for the actual talk to go down.

Personally, I can't really do live-chat's I'm probably the only person who was a teenager in the 90s/00s who never *never* used AIM ( I have an account whose password I frequently misplace.) However, and this is the part that I really like. All of the forum's stay up posthumously. So you can go back and read over what was said during the event itself.

Again the Forum has a whole host of postings but what I want to highlight for today (because its the feature that has most intrigued me as of late) is the forum clubs. There are all kind of forum clubs some sex/y related and others for more general interest. I personally follow the Naked Reader Book Club. NRBC come together (sorry) twice a month to review books based on a theme. March's theme has been exhibitionism/voyeurism/looking. The next meeting (happening March 22nd) will feature Violet Blue's Just Watch Me. I haven't read the book but I'm sure excited to see what people say about it.

Even if the book club isn't your thing, there are plenty of interesting forum clubs to check out.

Check out the clubs and tell me what you thought.

CALL-OUT FOR SEX WORKER OF COLOR ART SHOW

2011-03-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

We're organizing an event for the 2011 Sex Worker Film & Arts Festival. I'm casting a wide net with this email in hopes of getting this call-out to as diverse of a group of people as possible, keeping in mind that many sex workers are not "out" but may be interested in submitting their work. Please forward this to anyone who is an artist or belongs to an arts community. This Call-Out has also been translated to Spanish and Chinese, let me know if you want me to forward either of these to you. We also have actual flyers, if you want to pick some up (in SF) or you'd like me to drop some off feel free to ask ask ask.

The Deadline for submissions is April 15, and the show is at the end of May.

Thank you all for all the wonderful work you do!

xotobias

HOOK Collective

www.hookcollective.wordpress.com

408.966.9302

------------------------------

ART, CRAFT, & SPOKEN WORD Submissions Wanted!

INTERSECTION: Stories Through Art by Sex Workers of Color

in part with the San Francisco Sex Workers Film and Arts Festival

The San Francisco Sex Workers Film and Arts Festival (www.sexworkerfest.com) was established in 1998 to provide a forum for the accomplishments of sex worker film, art, performance and video makers, and to screen works about sex workers and the sex industries from around the world. The Sex Worker Festival provides an opportunity to recognize and honor prostitutes, dancers, porn performers and other sex workers, who have historically been a dynamic part of arts communities.

This year, the HOOK Collective [hookcollective.wordpress.com] is curating an art show that will be showcasing arts about and by sex workers of color! Because the identity “sex worker” oftentimes portrays the image of a white empowered middle-class worker, and because the sex industry encapsulates an expansive range of experiences and identities, the goal of INTERSECTION is to provide an intentional space where the stories and art of people of color in the sex industry take the principal role at the festival.

We prioritize a variety of mediums – including installation art, performance art, and spoken word – and encourage participation by everyone who identifies as a non-white person who works or has worked in the sex industry. Do you make crafts? You can rent table-space to sell your wares at the opening event! Street workers, trans, queer, differently-abled folks, and folks who don’t even identify with the term “sex worker” are encouraged to apply! English is optional, as we will work to accommodate for any language barriers that may arise.

To submit your work, please send us the following:

-A short description of your art, spoken word, or installation work

-Any videos, recordings, or photographs of your art (not required but would be helpful)

- A brief explanation why you think your artwork is suitable for INTERSECTION

- Any tech, space, equipment, or accessibility needs you have

Please send digital submissions to: HOOK.Collective@gmail.com

If you would like to send us samples of your work via mail, or reserve a craft table now, please email us to make arrangements!

Work can be submitted and/or displayed anonymously!

DEADLINE is April 15, 2011

San Francisco Sex Worker Film and Arts Festival

P.O. 210256, San Francisco, CA 94121

http://www.sexworkerfest.com/

Producers: Carol Leigh AKA Scarlot Harlot & Erica Fabulous

Movie Curator: Laure McElroy

Arts Curator: Tobias Ex

Some Thoughts on/Links about the "White Girls in the Library" Incident

2011-03-15T01:07:00.000-07:00

So I'll be upfront, one of the main reasons that I'm typing this post is to ensure that I do my part in maintaining a public record of this event. One that ties (forever) Alexandra Wallace's name to her racist speech. That being said I don't really have that much of my own 'analysis' to put forth on the incident. I will let others speak.

The first link I saw (from Gawker) on the incident.

My response (on Facebook)to the Gawker link:

Don't you LOVE this school? Do you know this student? Please let her know I think she sucks and is a jackass. Thanks. ( I wonder if this counts as an infraction of our code of conduct? Fingers crossed.)

Angry Asian Man comments and links.

The Daily Bruin (UCLA's Official Student Newspaper)'s "Off the Press" piece on Wallaces video.

Chancellor Block writes the UCLA Student Community:

To the Campus Community:

I am appalled by the thoughtless and hurtful comments of a UCLA student posted on YouTube. Like many of you, I recoil when someone invokes the right of free expression to demean other individuals or groups.

This one act certainly does not represent the views of our UCLA community. Our community is built on mutual respect and civility, and we are committed to fostering an environment that values and supports every member of the community. It is most unfortunate that a single clip on the Internet undermines that environment by expressing hurtful and shameful ideas about others in our community. I believe that speech that expresses intolerance toward any group of people on the basis of race or gender, or sexual, religious or cultural identity is indefensible and has no place at UCLA.

Let this incident serve as a reminder of our collective responsibility to confront hateful and ignorant speech and to uphold UCLA’s core values of respect and integrity.

Sincerely,

Gene D. Block
Chancellor

My response to the note from Chancellor Block:

Chancellor Block sent out a message saying that: " I believe that speech that expresses intolerance toward any group of people on the basis of race or gender, or sexual, religious or cultural identity is indefensible and has no place at UCLA."

I hope that translates into I intend to pursue action against this student. Now, if UCLA's student judicial process is anything like Smith's, we won't know if or when action is taken against Wallace because her position in any judicial proceedings is confidential (that means unless she says something about being in proceedings I think the college is more or less legally bound not to discuss whatever they do with her.

I imagine that expulsion is not on the table (oh how rarely it is when you're an 'innocent' white woman expressing racist sentiments in public spaces.) However, I do hope that she receives some kind of official sanction that is forever tied to her transcript/school records.

The APCUCLA tumblr has more coverage.

The Official Statement from APC (Asian Pacific Coalition)(from: http://knowthesaurus.tumblr.com)

In Response to “Asians in the Library”

From the Asian Pacific Coalition at UCLA

On Sunday, March 13th, an alarming video was re-posted on YouTube from the Facebook account of a UCLA student. The video, titled “Asians in the Library”, chronicled the student’s racist tirade against the Asian American and Pacific Islander communities at UCLA. Within hours, the video re-posted on various forms of social media, where members of the community viewed and responded to the video. The resulting reaction reveals an alarmingly dangerous campus climate and an underlying current of racism and prejudice still vibrantly alive in America. The Asian Pacific Coalition and API communities at UCLA would like to issue the following response:

In her public comment to the UCLA community, Alexandra Wallace expressed her concern about the “hordes of Asian people that UCLA accepts into our school every year.” On a campus that boasts a student population of 40% Asian Americans and Pacific Islander communities (API), Wallace’s comments are both insensitive and revelatory of the flawed mainstream perception of the API community. Many view API’s as a uniform aggregate, thereby failing to acknowledge the diversity within the API community and perpetuating the view of API’s as the model minority and the foreign “they” who unfairly get accepted into “our” school. Wallace perpetuates the “us” versus “them” rhetoric in her comments, thereby expressing distaste in API’s and an even greater anxiety that “foreigners” are taking over UCLA.

However, she claims, it would not bother her so much that “hordes of Asian people got into our school” if they would start learning to “use American manners.” Her comment stems from the supposed phone conversations she overheard whilst studying in the UCLA library, citing one particular conversation in the following phrases, “OOo, ching chong, ling long, ting ta.” Among these phrases, “ching chong” stands out as an ethnic slur considered derogatory due to its historical usage in negatively depicting Chinese speech patterns [1]. While some argue that “ching chong” is a phrase we should regard with desensitization now that decades lie between us and the Chinese Exclusion Act, its constant resurfacing tells us otherwise. API’s today are viewed as the legacy of the “yellow peril”: if we are not taking over railroad jobs in the 1860’s or taking over auto industry jobs in the 1980’s, we are now supposedly taking over coveted spots at universities like UCLA. The use of such a blatantly ethnic slur portrays API’s as the perpetual foreigner, undeserving of an opportunity to study next to “Americans” in the UCLA library.

Her remarks do not simply address the students at UCLA, but she extends her call for American mannerisms to the brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and grandparents of API students, whom “swarm” the apartments every weekend to cook and clean and stop API students from learning to “fend for themselves.” Why should the involvement of family in a student’s life be considered with such disdain? Why do the experiences of a few API students become generalized as the experience of every API student? Above all, why is there an assumption that Asian Americans do not know how to fend for themselves?

Furthermore, her ignorant comments extend to the tragedy currently affecting Japan following the tsunami.

Her decision to state such culturally insensitive remarks via a forum as public as a Facebook video is disturbing. What gives her the audacity to record such a video? Perhaps she did not expect anyone to react. Perhaps she did not expect API’s to fend for themselves.

Well think again. We are responding, and by the numbers.

As evidenced by the responses of outrage and hurt from our community, it is clear that this student’s comments can be considered a hate speech, an act of discrimination, harassment, and profiling.

However, we must address the many ignorant comments stemming from our own community in reaction to Wallace’s comments. While we condemn this student’s remarks as not only ignorant and offensive but hateful as well, we believe that we as a community can do better than to resort to the student’s tactics of throwing out divisive words which only perpetuate a culture of racism and sexism on both sides.

We will not use our strength as a community to attack this individual but rather we will use this event to grasp at an understanding of campus climate: despite what you may have believed about UCLA or our universities before, it is clear that racism, sexism, bigotry, and hatred still exist.

As a community, we should respond with the grace, sensitivity and civility afforded us through the manners we learned from our parents, and their parents before them.

Hence, as a community, we demand the following:

1) We call for a public apology from Alexandra Wallace. Her words and actions are not in line with the UCLA Student Code of Conduct which states:

“The University strives to create an environment that fosters the values of mutual respect and tolerance and is free from discrimination based on race, ethnicity, sex, religion, sexual orientation, disability, age, and other personal characteristics.”[2]

2) We call for UCLA to take the appropriate disciplinary measures befitting of Wallace’s violation against the UCLA Student Code of Conduct and UCLA’s Principle of Community, which states:

“We do not tolerate acts of discrimination, harassment, profiling or other harm to individuals on the basis of expression of race, color, ethnicity, gender, age, disability, religious beliefs, political preference, sexual orientation, gender identity, citizenship, or national origin among other personal characteristics. Such acts are in violation of UCLA’s Principles of Community and subject to sanctions according to campus policies governing the conduct of students, staff and faculty.” [3]

3) We call for UCLA to issue a statement addressing this incident. UCLA must demonstrate its commitment to a culture of diversity, respect, tolerance, and acceptance for all communities by standing against such acts.

4) We call for the UCLA Academic Senate to pass a requirement in the general education curriculum grounded in the UCLA Principles of Community.

As students at UCLA, here is how you can help voice your concerns:

1) Email Chancellor Gene Block (chancellor@ucla.edu) and Assistant Vice Chancellor Robert J. Naples (rnaples@saonet.ucla.edu) to report this matter as a violation of Student Conduct.

2) Post a message on Chancellor Block’s Facebook page expressing your concern: http://www.facebook.com/uclachancellor

3) Allow this event to help us bare in mind the continual relevance of ethnic studies at UCLA and beyond. While ethnic studies programs are crumbling at CSULA and struggling for a place at UCSC, let us remember why it is important now more than ever to continue to support the development, sustainability and growth of ethnic studies.

Let this incite an honest discussion on what it truly means to be a community founded upon mutual respect. Do not turn this into a riot. Do not turn this into an attack. We are better than that. Allow us to come together in solidarity and address the matter where it truly stems: as a reflection of the gross misunderstanding of our communities and the hatred which grows from it.

[1] http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definitions/Ching+Chong?cx=partner-pub-0939450753529744%3Av0qd01-tdlq&cof=FORID%3A9&ie=UTF-8&q=Ching+Chong&sa=Search#906

[2]
http://www.registrar.ucla.edu/catalog/catalog10-11-827d.htm

[3]
http://www.diversity.ucla.edu/strategicplan/docs/Principles_of_Community.pdf

Video Project: "I regret to inform you that the Venus Hottentot is Dead": Constructing, Celebrating, and Critiquing the Black Body

2011-03-14T02:41:00.000-07:00

Video Project: "I regret to inform you that the Venus Hottentot is Dead": Constructing, Celebrating, and Critiquing the Black Bo from gogojojo on Vimeo.

(Note due to the copyrighted material used in this video project there might be problems hosting it with Youtube/3rd party vido hosting services. As I don't have the capabilities to host videos myself at the moment the video might 'disappear' for a while. Sorry in advance if it gets pulled!)

This is a audio/video project that I did for one of my courses (WS 285 "Gender and Performance, Marcela Fuentes WI 2011, UCLA) entitled: "I regret to inform you that the Venus Hottentot is Dead": Constructing, Celebrating, and Critiquing the Black Body

Description of Video:

An audio/video meditation sparked by Janell Hobson's article "How Nicki Minaj Stumbled Onto Black History" published in Ms. Magazine Online. This project is a collage of images and sounds (some connected and others juxtaposed) that attempt to evokes the discourse around the iconic figure known as "The Venus Hottentot." I am critical this conversation because of how it ignores/silences the voices of Black women artists/models/public figures in its attempt to create what I call a genealogy of oppression instead of a nuanced discussion of performance and the politics of pleasure in spectacle.

Here is citation info for the works used in the video:

Music:
Best, Trish. "Wide Body." Feloni perf. A Woman's Revenge. Trak Diamond Records. MP3 Audio File. CD BABY http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/feloni 688981079620. 2007.

Dobson, Felicia and Levine, Joseph. "Set Me Free." Fefe Dobson perf. Joy. AAC Audio File. 2010. iTunes www.itunes.com (downloaded Jan 8, 2011).

Videos:
"Beyonce Live @ Fashion Rocks 2006." Video clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kSLKS8cMSY (accessed March 7, 2011).

"Bride of Blackenstein." From Episode 13; Jessie Eisenberg, Bill Hader, Nicki Minaj, Jay Pharoah, Kenan Thompson, Kristine Wiig perf. SNL: Season 36. MPEG-4 video file. 2011. iTunes, www.itunes.com (downloaded March 7, 2011).

"Buffie the Body on Tyra Banks." Video clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JvgimuzFbA (accessed March 7, 2011).

"Josephine Baker's Banana Dance." Video clip. Circa 1927. Youtube.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmw5eGh888Y (accessed March 7, 2011).

"Lil Wayne – Knockout ft. Nicki Minaj." Video clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfYcOYMNuXM (accessed March 7, 2011).

"Nicki MInaj - Massive Attack ft. Sean Garrett." Video clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZCUtnuAXg8 (accessed March 7, 2011).

"Pinky – Bad Bitch (Official Video) World Premier." Video Clip [n.d.] Youtube.com, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKKvQObr6pE (accessed on March 7, 2011).
(Additional Info: Directed by Damon Jamal.)

"Trey Songz – Bottoms Up ft Nicki Minaj." Video clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekAXPCphKXQ (accessed March 7, 2011).

" Vénus Noire/Black Venus." Video clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-D8N5uaePw (accessed March 7, 2011).

“Venus Opening Scene.” Video clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_KCCd_GO4Y (accessed March 7, 2011).
(Additional Info: The Chicago premiere of Suzan-Lori Park's Venus for The Mill directed by Jaclyn Biskup)

"Venus Performance Excerpts." Video clip. April 5-6, 2008. Youtube.com, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTMSkDApvyI (accessed March 7, 2011).
(Additional Info: Choreography by Alexandra Joye Houston)

"Yahima Torres, Vénus Noire." Video Clip. [n.d.]. Youtube.com, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPOlV2GQV6U (accessed March 7, 2011).

Black Media: Puppets

2011-03-13T14:41:00.000-07:00

As you know, I do media studies. Now I tend to study hip-hop media and stuff done by major label artists.

However I have a secret love: Puppets. Why I do I love puppets? I'm not sure. I've always really liked them. Especially the muppets. However, I've recently discovered indie puppeteers on youtube and I must say that I love it. I particularly love the 'adult' puppet shows/ worlds where the puppets deal with things like sex and violence. I think its the mixture of the supposedly 'innocent' world of puppets (often thought of as children's toys/entertainment) and what we think of as adult (or at least non-children) topics.

Now I like puppet shows in general. However, I kind of love Black puppets. There are rarely Black puppets in puppet universes. And even when puppets come in brownish hues their 'skin' isn't necessarily meant to have any racial/ethnic significance. So when people intentionally mark puppets as Black (within the African diaspora in some way) I kind of love it.

Here are some examples:

Lexo Producations (www.lexo.tv)

Thou shall not horn

Santana Gets It

Opening Myself Up to Opportunity and Change

2011-03-06T21:31:00.000-08:00

I decided to cut my hair a few days ago. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about the practice of cutting to open your body to new possibility. And then I decided what I was going to do for Lent. Namely, grow a more positive relationship with food through God. And then I started reading the book "Girl Get Your Money Straight" which one of the major take aways that I have thus far is being open to the possibility of life changing for the better and affirming that through word and deed.

If you read my post thus far this year you'll know I've been having a real personal struggle. I think it's partially what comes with trying to live an intentional life but at times I'm overwhelmed with how much lays before me. That sometimes derails me to a negatives space of no growth. While I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling angry. I do think its important that our anger, my anger, is an instigating rather than a forestalling force.

So Friday I decided that I was going to cut my hair. I've been unhappy with my hair for a while now. And rather than just sit and keep the unhappiness I decided to act. By acting in this way I'm committing not only to a new hair style but a mode of thinking that says I don't have to stay uncomfortable. I can open myself up to the possibility of happiness, to change, and to new opportunities. Now I'm not someone who believes that its always best to act without thought. What I'm trying to say is that I spent two months thinking about what makes me happy and unhappy about my hair. And once I was semi-clear on that I responded in a way that I thought would bring me more enjoyment of my hair.

By stepping out on faith (and any Black woman radically changing her hair doing so is because of all of the personal and communal emphasis that is put on our hair) that positivity would come from being open to change is what I'm working on this year. And this is just another facet.

Calling it out

2011-03-05T13:00:00.001-08:00

I write this from a space of feeling angry, vulnerable and violated.

So I've been traveling this weekend. And it's been both refreshing and soul crushing. How is that possible? Well I'm a complicated individual.

I'm going to have to save the refreshing part because I couldn't do it justice in this mood.

Anyway here is what I have to say. I'm tired of trying to pretend that I think my experience in grad school as some kind of benign incompetance of bureacracy. I don't think that. I think that I am living in a system that is complicit at it's best and participatory at it's worse with a white-supremecist/anti-black system that conditions of my grad education. I'm tired of being told that we, students of color, are all experiencing problems with our programs when the reality is that I live in a department that has a laissez-faire policy of discussing Blackness from faculty to grad students. It no longer feels like enough to have people say that they see my struggle and know that the effort that they put towards addressing them and the effort that I put into supporting them is dispproportionate. As if we aren't going to an institution (the UC system) has historically (and I believe still does) targeted low incomeBlack students for removal (via admissions and retention policies.) I'm not saying that it's a utopia for other racial/ethnic groups but lets not pretend they are the same experience.

Let me be honest and say that I think that many people who say that they espouse antiracist ideals have no interest or commitment to anti-Black-anti-racism. And I'm exhausted by participating in supposed anti-racist projects that could give a shit about my people's struggle. Go ahead call me selfish.

I'm tired of living in an environment that tries to suggest that the racism of my peers is merely forgivable ignorance. You're not cute to me with you implicit racist assumptions masquerading as a lack of reading or doing your homework. I shouldn't be penalized or made to feel vulnerable for calling bullshit; and I also shouldn't be used as a scape goat so that others feel like they don't have to call bullshit. I'm on the frontlines and my so called allies are in tents back on base.

Fuck the benefit of the doubt. I don't believe in allies unless they've proven themselves. And I still say fuck your cookies, do it because you believe it's right not because you're afraid I'll be mad at you or want me to like you more.

I'm overly exhausted by bullshit this weekend. I've really worked hard to put this part of my personality to the side because I spend so much energy being mad at it, it feels like there is none left for my self care. But I feel like I'm too vulnerable now, like I'm being taken advantage of because I try to let go of the daggers in the back.

How do I live in a world where Black and woman and angry aren't so interconnected without opening myself up to being pwned by the world?

Shit I'm taking a nap.

Sent from my Palm Pixi on AT&T

Lentent Season

2011-03-02T08:34:00.001-08:00

When I began to practice Lent intentionally I was in high school. A good friend of mine was Catholic and I admired her dedication in discipline. But I would say that I didn't really, at that time, understand the possibility of Lent.

Going off to college I dropped Lent as soon as I didn't have my friends discipline as a role model. I got back into the practice of Lent the same year that I came back to the church (of non-denominational Protestant theology.)

my understanding of Lent was radically changed at that moment. Before, I saw Lent as a period of ritualized abstenance in order to prove your endurance for God's love. Under my new pastor I started to see Lent as a dedicated time of prayerful practice to grow our relationships with God. The rules and restrictions became less about divesting oneself of worldly pleasure and more about making space in one's life, mind, and soul to cultivate new connections with God.

Now my Lentent promises to God rarely have anything to do with restriction or abstenance. I prefer to try and cultivate a relationship of abundance with God. And to that end this year it is my intent to focus on securing my body/temple by intentionally shifting my relationship to food. Food is one of my demons, one that I often feel powerless to overcome.

But the great thing about the Lentent season is that I can turnover my demons to God. Through prayerful practice I can open a space in my life for God to transform my relationship with food.

What program I will use to try to facilitate this connection is still undetermined. But I'm not too worried. It will come to me. And besides to me it's not about a program (yet) it's declaring intention.

Do you celebrate Lent? What will be your prayerful practice over the next few months?

Sent from my Palm Pixi on AT&T

Emotional struggle

2011-02-24T12:35:00.000-08:00

Beginning contemplative practice is not easy. A lot of the emotions and worries that we often submerge rise to the surface.

I've been working on a meditation practice for over two weeks now. And I feel raw. My emotions are so bare that honestly for a while there I felt powerless over them.

In the stillness of meditation you can meet parts of yourself that you didn't know were even alive. It is a mistake to think that meditation will immediately (and perhaps it never will) lead you to a place of emotional calm. If calm isn't what's in your soul right now no practice will invent it for you.

That being said I think I must return to a writing practice as well if meditation is going to be in my life. Need something to do with all my thoughts.

Sent from my Palm Pixi on AT&T

Being a grad student with learning disabilities

2011-02-15T01:29:00.001-08:00

This is a topic I've been wrestling with as of late. It feels almost dangerous to even bring it up. While I'm sure I'm not the only grad student with learning disabilities--I have several--I am one of the few I know who discuss it and certainly I'm the only grad student I know who identifies with being disabled. (meaning: I have teeth but I am not a tooth. However, I have disabilities and I am disabled.)

Now there are a myriad of reasons for this probably. In the US, my social context, learning disabilities are often disregarded, misunderstood, or pathologized. This part of the reason it took me so long to pursue testing to verify my life long suspecion that I had a disability.

However, the thing I want comment on right now is the perception that if you are able to achieve enough academic success to enter an advance degree program then your disability is not severe enough to require accomodations. I think (without any quantitative "proof") that this leads to a code of secrecy about the grad experience while disabled. I have noticed how uncomfortable it makes people from faculty to staff to fellow students when I disclose details about my disabilities. This can be as simple as naming my diagnoses to describing the way I learn or what are particular challenges I face. The only thing non-disabled people ever seem curious about is what kind of accommodations I get.

This leads, in my opinion, to an environment where the burden of an equal education is put on disabled students. The process of grad education: coursework styles, exam mechanics, research and diss writing is a relatively srandardized process. In someways there is an investment in the notion that surviving particular programs are what makes one a scholar/intellectual. Leaving aside the fact that not all of the students in grad school will or want to commit themselves to a 'life of the mind; this means that there is a very real systemic resistance to critiquing pedagogy at a grad level.

For example, in many fields there is an emphasis on reading as the method of information transmission. And not just reading...there is a kind of ritual of assigning voluminous amounts of reading because well the serious students will find a way. Now many students will and have told me that grad school is about learning to skim and be judicious in what one dwells on. However, what this view doesn't acknowledge is how this emphasis unfairly disadantages those of us with reading comprehension and speed related disabilities. Skimming might be the solution if your problem is speed but if comprehension is your issue then it's not about the quantity but the quality.

I'm known for not reading amongst my circle. I play this off often as a disintrest in material or lack of time. Sometimes that is true. Yet it also true that I know that I comprehend ideas better via discussion because I learn best auditorally. It is incredibly frustrating to be required to enact this academic performance that is not always beneficial for me. Especially when I know that my imperfect performance is not a reflection of my ability to think critically or grasp concepts.

And I won't lay all the blame at the feet of faculty or the administrative gods. Students constantly reinvest in this ableist culture (often whilst proclaiming the need for more disability-conscious curricula for undergrads.) I think in part it is because we invest in the validation that we get from doing well by the standard. And not just students without (diagnosed and/or self-acknowledged) disabilities. Part of the silence about the extra steps or chasms we students with disabilitites cross towards our degrees is because we don't want anyone to think that we are less deserving. We're not less deserving, but not because we managed to overcome the hurdles. We deserve recognition because of the quality of our ideas, our commitment to our programs and professions, for doing intellectual work however it might look like.

Doing a general and brief search I was unable to find a national organization, non-profits, or websites specifically aimed at students with learning disabilities. I specify *learning* here because there are apparent and non-apparent disabilitites that may not be considered a learning disability but that do have representation.

For more thoughts on, critiques of, and suggestions of how to work around ableist academic culture see the book Learning Outside the Lines.

Sent from my Palm Pixi on AT&T

2011 Goals Update

2011-02-12T19:51:00.001-08:00

So here we go. I set goals for myself for the year to invest in my romantic life, physical and mental health, financial well-being, and my non-grad school related life.

To this end I feel I'm doing alright. I'm not exactly happy where I am in terms of progress but I can and do acknowledge that I've been working hard to reach my goals.

I am much more actively dating now. I don't have a super special someone but I do have people that wherein I feel we're both intentional anout making time for each other. Right now I want someone(s) in my life who pays attention to me. And I have that. I am valentine-less but I'll be spending the evening with close friends which I am excited about.

Physically I feel like I'm slipping a little. I am for the most part sleeping better, taking better care of my body. I've invested over the past month in treats and treasures for my body. This includes body butter, fancy lotion, better hair moistureizer, massage oil (that I haven't used), foundation that moistureizes and protects the skin from the sun, and toys to keep my "me time" special. I, however, still don't like my relationship with food. I both want to improve it but don't have any idea of how to go about it. I think this will be one of my greater challenges for the year.

Mentally, I am back on a pretty consistent therapy routine. I see my therapist weekly. I have also joined a mixed anxiety group. Group work is not easy. It challenges me to show up, participste, and be open. I teuly despise my therapy homework because it forces me to be mindful about my anxiety disorder. I prefer to imagine that it disappears in my day-to-day. This is not true, anxiety profoundly affects how I live my life. Often it does so in ways that I am not happy with but feel powerless to control. Working in group has helped me recognize this. I wish it translated to an immediate cure. It doesn't. And concentrating on judging how 'cured' I am usually takes my focus off achieving my short term goals. Right now I'm working on my anxieties around environment (being outside after dark, going new places, etc.)

Now to finances. Otherwise known as my achilles heel. I am VERY unhappy with my financial state. I currently don't have a job and feel as though I am underfunded from my institution. I have been working to challenge myself to be more aggressive in improving this situation. This means applying for jobs, talking with colleagues about how they handle their money woes, not ignoring financial documents, filling out financial paper work, asking questions, researching financial health, and admitting when I can't afford things. None of those are easy, I scratch my self on buried nurosis and anxiety constantly. I have a very hard time admitting how financially vulnerable I feel because unconsciously I think it reflects something about my character. This isn't true. I am challenging myself to live my life like I believed that.

What I am proud of is that I have not let my setbacks (and I've had a few, and have several seeming roadblocks ahead of me) keep me down. I try to take time to acknowledge my disappointment--ignoring it just leads to festering--and then move forward. I feel like if I were in the same situation as I am now a year ago I would simply cut my phone off, let bills pile up, and stop leaving my house. Instead, I am trying to reach out for support and remind myself that I can survive this. I struggle to overcome my extreme feelings of shame about being broke that I think only people who have lived in poverty for extensive periods can understand. I also work to remind myself that I have to work towards financial security on my terms and not let others dictate how I should go about getting better. Lastly, I try to remember that being poor doesn't mean I shouldn't have pleasure in my life.

On the non-grad student life I am somewhat successful. I would say this is the area I feel the greatest progress in. I am doing much better about intentionally growing my friendships these days. Either by checking in on peeps over email, phone or social media, practicing deep listening with people, and giving them responsibilities in our relationship. I often spend a lot of time and invest a lot of my opinion in myself in how well I take care of others. Being a care taker isn't the same as being a friend. People become checklists of problems you need to solve. I'm trying to step back from that. That means opening up about my problems, resisting the urge to give unsolicited advice, asking if people want help, spending more time with myself *thoughtfully*, and being more honest about my opinions. I shelter people from my judgements and criticism. This seems like I am being nice and gentle. But I see more and more how it builds walls around me and resentment and frustration within me.

I haven't been able to do the leisure reading that I wanted. I anticipate that now that I feel more comfortable with my academic load that this will change. January was largely about trying not to use this goal as an excuse to run away from my homework anxiety. Due to recent success academically and new accommodation software that anxiety is decreasing and I am getting a better balance in my work time and leisure time. So well see if I get anything read in February.

How are you doing with your personal goals?

Nicki Minaj: New Video for Moment For Life

2011-01-30T21:35:00.001-08:00

Nicki Minaj - New Music - More Music Videos

I like the video a lot! I feel like Nicki does multiple character videos better than most artist. Drake looked handsome. And I've always been a fan of this song in particular. I bet its frustrating that people are always talking about the personalities so she now feels compelled to speak about them. I hope she gets back to a place where she can do a character if she wants but doesn't feel the need to preface or explain it.

Expanding your Fun Times Tool Box

2011-01-22T14:19:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning and decided that I was going to make a few self-care purchases. My self-care purchases are a little different from the norm however.

Today I've decided to invest in the book Seal It With A Kiss. Now I consider this a self-care purchase because kissing has been on my mind lately. Not that way--okay well not only that way. It is one of the skills in my ahem 'fun-times tool box' that I feel I could be better at. Rather than spend my whole life beating myself up about how I kiss...I'd rather just be intentional about getting better at it.

And I guess that is the point of this post. I think they're often aspects of ourselves and our lives that we are unhappy with. And we constantly berate ourselves about them. Especially when it comes to sex(uality). Now I can understand the impulse, and I am no stranger to the act either. However, as I've committed to taking better care of myself over the years one thing that I've really tried to let go of is my fear, shame, anxiety about talking about what I like/don't like/wish I could improve on about sex. Being more open about these things has 1)taken some of the pressure off and 2) cleared up space in my mind/life to turn away from that self-deprecating model about sex and turn towards a much more self-accepting model.

I recognize that its not easy to start on this kind of journey. And I'm definitely not a guru of any kind who can bring you through it. But I do think that the internet is full of excellent resources to help! One of the reasons that I like the website EdenFantasys is because it offers you a plethora of information as well as products. I would suggest checking out their Sexis Magazine section for lots of interesting articles and columns dedicated to talking openly about sex, giving sex advice (check out Tuesdays With Nina), and generally sexual humor (the Bloggess is hilarious.) Of course, if you're looking to go more in depth on a topic you can go my route and check out the section specifically on How-To's and Sexual Guides in the books for sale.

If you're not 18 or whatever the legal age of majority is in your current location I would also suggest Scarleteen.com. Great website. I believe I already have a link in the side bar. And if I don't there will be one moments after this post is published!

Sarah Palin: Have to get this off my chest

2011-01-13T11:02:00.000-08:00

Ok I'm just going to say something right quick. I've been sitting on it for a minute.

The fact that people wishing to have a serious political conversation about the U.S. presidency have to even mention Sarah Palin's name is an embarrassment to our electoral process. I truly hope that the RNC will get its act together and find a REAL candidate to run in 2012. Ok well maybe I don't. Keep screwing over your philosophically conservative base for the glamor of ideologue figureheads. We'll take there 'anything but her' votes.

Basically my opinion of the Republican party is this. Several decades ago they decided that an astute political strategy would be to run ideologue figurehead candidates for political office whilst the intellectual conservatives 'really' ran things. Unfortunately their figureheads got tired of being puppets and have decided to run the show (and the country into the ground.) Now because of the compromises made by the philosophically and fiscally conservative cats years ago we're stuck actually trying to have a political conversation with people who don't even care about the ACTUAL structure of our government.

I don't believe that all conservatives are Republican asshats, but I think the ones who stand behind the RNC despite its chicanery are debasing our national politics by allowing buffoonery to continue.

The Democratic Party is thus seen as weak because it refuses to allow a few ideologues to run its entire agenda. But in fact that's how democratic politics should work! Based on consensus, pragmatism, and protecting the rights and liberties of the vulnerable and subjugated.

To Freak or Not to Freak

2011-01-11T22:27:00.000-08:00

Man I've been sitting on this post for a while. Trying to decide exactly what I want to say. So like normal, I just eventually got tired of waiting for the right words so instead you're getting this!

There is a conundrum that many people who write about sex, sexuality, or pornography in the academy eventually have to do it. And that is whether or not to reveal details about your own sexual self. Now for me, it feels kind of like an issue of reciprocity. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about the sexual lives of other people while pretending to be a a stoic de-sexed being.

But it's not just that. I mean even if I wasn't an academic doing some kind of sex research I would still be trying to encourage conversation about sex. I remember when I was a teenager I spent a lot of time reading books about sex and sexuality (and not necessarily for any erotic charge either) I just thought it was important to know as much as possible about this topic. And I think its reprehensible how poorly sex education is taught to kids, especially young girls, in this country (and most likely others.)

So I blog, write, research, and talk about sex, sexuality, and the body.

Having my blog attached to my 'real' name and life has made it more and more interesting to be in academia. I find myself constantly questioning these days about how detailed I will be in my post. How much is professionally prudent for me to discuss about my own sexual life? If I do talk about myself, what tone should I take? In general this is a very informal blog. But I notice that even in this post ABOUT posting about sex I've taken on a pretty formal, unemotional tone.

At the same time, I've had people tell me that they appreciate my honesty about sex and my sexual self here on my blog. And I have to weight the potential benefit of that connection to my readers over the potential grief I might have later on in life. Would I rather play it safe or be honest about the full extent of my life?

It's not as simple as 'being true to oneself.' Being an 'out' slut or freak has material consequences: from the way people treat you on a daily basis to the opportunities available to you in the future. There are still significant research grants, faculty positions, and etc that look heavily on the respectability of their applicant as a key factor. Being vocally and visibly sex positive could endanger my financial future and career.

I wish I could end this post with some kind of definitive answer. But honestly I still am wrestling with it. I still plan to write as with the ambassador program from EdensFantasy.com, I will still more than likely comment on women and men I find sexual attractive. I might discuss in detail (or not so much detail) issue of my own sexual life (like that this weekend will mark a year since the last time I had sex with someone else--and I'm not happy about it.)

What are your thoughts? Do you let your freak flag fly unabashedly? Do ladies/gentlemen never tell? Is there such a thing as a happy medium?

Kanye West - Runaway (Full-length Film)

2011-01-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

Yes you've seen Runaway before. But go back and watch it again. I can't decide what I like the best. Selita Ebanks is EVERYTHING (acting and costume wise, she fine but I think she also put WERK on this film.) The drift back and forth between realism and surrealism. The magical carnival moment where MJ is the totem. The fucking ballerinas freeze framing but still twitching. "You know she a bird right? I never noticed." I STILL CAN'T DECIDE IF HE'S BEING SARCASTIC!

All the reference shots to other films. The fact that its in reference to one of the cheesiest (heartbreakingest) 90s film classics that NO ONE remembers. Kanye's tuxedos.

It's motherfucking Moonwalker man. Moonwalker

Fabolous - You Be Killin Em

2011-01-03T23:03:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite new video of the moment. Amber Rose is HELLA sexy. I'm mad my bro came to visit me in LA for like four days and met her and I've been here two years and never seen her. Oh well. I'm fine with admiring from a distance.

Here We Go!!! 2011 has arrived

2011-01-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

2011 has arrived. It's a new year. I LOVE celebrating time. I am a big fan of getting older and doing birthdays up big. But also celebrating new years and growth seasons and all of that kind of thing. I love circles and cycles and things that begin and end simultaneously. Life is about movement!

So you can tell I'm hyped right? I am!

2011 doesn't begin with new resolutions but with a declaration of a return to my previous Treat Myself Right Challenge. In 2011 we're going big or we're going home.

Therefore:

I challenge myself to read 1 fiction and one non-fiction book a month. AND to blog about it. Even if briefly.

Fiction List: Season of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih, Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, Substitute Me by Lori L Tharps, Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara, Going Down South: A Novel by Bonnie Glover, Strangers In Paradise: Pocketbook 2 by Terry Moore, Can't Help the Way That I Feel by Lori Bryant-Woolridge, Tank Girl Vol 1 (remastered) by Alan C. Martin (Jamie Hewlett), The Gilda Stories: A Novel by Jewelle Gomez, The Salt Roads by Nalo Hopkins, The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler, Babylon sisters by Pearl Cleage, and (+1) Glorious by Bernice L. McFadden.

Nonfiction List: A Movement in Black by Pat Parker, Living as a Lesbian by Cheryl Clarke, The Truth That Never Hurts: Writings on Race, Gender and Freedom by Barbara Smith, For Colored Girls Who've Considered Suicide\When the Rainbow is Enuff by Ntozake Shange, To Be Young Gifted and Black by Lorraine Hansberry, Foxy: My Life in Three Acts by Pam Grier, Men Like That: A Southern Queer History by John Howard, Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things by Randy O. Frost, Barbershops, Bibles, and BET: Everyday Talk and Black Political Thought by Melissa Harris-Perry, Racism without Racist by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, Private Lives, Proper Relations: Regulating Black Intimacy by Candice M. Jenkins, I Got Thunder: Black Women Songwriters on Their Craft edited by LaShonda Katrice Barnett, and (+1) Butterfly McQueen Remembered by Stephen Bourne.

I challenge myself to take better care of my physical body. I am therefore: creating and sustaining hair care regimen, creating and sutaining a skin care regimen, committing to my getting a physical, getting tested for HIV/STIs, gaining five pounds.

I challenge myself to take care of my mental/emotional well-being. I am therefore: going to meditate for five minutes a day, journal frequently (at least once a day), attend therapy, get back on my medication regimen, schedule at least three hours of self-care time in my week, talk openly and honestly with my advocate in the office of students with disabilities about my needs for school.

I challenge myself to grow deeper relationships with those around me. In 2011 I'm going to invest time and effort into finding a romantic relationship of love, passion, and acceptance NOT of convenience. I will also commit to writing friends and family more often (it's easier for me than emails and the point is communication.)

I challenge myself to give my life over more fully to God. I want to pray more. Either spend an hour on Sunday in church or reading my Bible. I want to work seriously to find a community of faith while I am in Los Angeles. I don't necessarily need to surround myself with like minded Christians but I do want a community of people who are spiritually intentional in my life.

I want to do more work for God. Service (as in within the community) is work for God. And I want to do more of it. I feel so refreshed when I do God's work (and let God work through me.) My major service commitments for this year will be to the Black Alums of Smith College, the Lambda Grad Students Network, and I want to find one organization in Los Angeles where I can donate time to at least once a month.

I am putting a lot of my plate in 2011. But the point of having high expectations is not to berate yourself for your shortcomings but to dream big about your successes.

What are your plans in 2011? Making any resolutions/challenges? Do you hate that whole conversation? Let me know.

Nneka - Heartbeat

2011-01-03T21:37:00.000-08:00

My older sister emailed me about this artist. I'm loving her video for "Heartbeat." Don't know much about her but she's definitely worth a listen to.

Got Beef? The Black Roman Saga

2010-12-23T06:19:00.000-08:00

If you keep up on current events/gossip in hip-hop then you've probably known about the tension/feud/beef between Lil Kim and Nicki Minaj. It's not something that I felt like commenting on for a long time because to be honest I LOVE both artist. And that's not lip service. I truly enjoy the music of, am excited about the success of both of these women. And as often with beef, fans and admirers are expected to take sides. Who are we truly loyal to?

That's not where I'm going to take this post. I think, both of these women are extremely intelligent business women as well as dope artists. I refuse to throw one under the bus for the other.

Okay but lets back up for those that don't know what I'm talking about. In the latest manifestation of the beef between Kim and Nicki, there have been tracks released. Now first comes "Roman's Revenge" a song off of Nicki's first major album release Pink Friday. "Roman's Revenge" features fellow rapper-icon Eminem. While there are no specific mentions of Lil Kim, it definitely seems (to me at least) that there are some subliminal shots in the song towards her. And even if you are of the opinion that "Roman's Revenge" is not about a particular artist--it's still not terribly flattering towards many of the female rappers who have been in the game for a minute.

Now to be honest, I LOVE THIS SONG. I think the song is a perfect "Kiss My Ass Haters" song. However, I also think that female rappers are put in specific conundrum each time they come out. Whereas being generally boastful and arrogant in a song is acceptable (and to an extent expected) from male rappers it is NOT from female rappers UNLESS they are boastful about their bodies or sexual appetite/prowess. Nicki saying "I'm the bestest" earlier on was not taken as a subliminal when I don't believe that it was. I also think that Nicki entered into an already stacked game wherein, female rappers really aren't expected to get along with other female rappers, and where industry execs think good beef sells records. Now YMCMB is not known for getting into a ton of beefs with other rappers (but the CMB part is known for diddy-ing some of the most talented artists supposedly in their camp *cough*Juvenile*cough*Mannie Fressh*cough) but there is overall a culture of singularity that springs up around female rappers. Some people want to call this crabs-in-the-bucket syndrome but I actually think it has less to do with the mentality of these women individually and more to do with a systematic pitting of artists against each other in a way that male rappers do not experience. T.I. and Wayne can coexist as two of the hottest Southern rappers in the business (and go back and forth between who actually sells 1 million records.) When a female artist comes out however she is immediately compared to and graded against all other artist, her grade is then used to either uplift or degrade all other female artists. Female rappers have to be extremely intentional about NOT furthering that bullshit because unlike with male rappers it constantly festers and doesn't really ever disappear.

Lil Kim responded to the song with a little track called "Black Friday." Now keep in mind Kim is not only a female rap veteran (hmm military metaphors?) but also no stranger to beef with other female artist (damn I love listening diss tracks between Kim and Foxy.) Kim also courts controversy constantly because of her physical appearance and the storm shadow of bad business deals that continue to plague her career (a lot of it being shady male executive constantly trying to play her in my opinion.)

Like I said on my last post...LOVE this song too. I wish it was to a different beat but in terms of lyrical prowess I think Kim went in. More than a diss track aimed at Nicki, I like this song because I think it is an excellent example of why Kim is who Kim is. Why in years plagued by *snitches*, jail time, bad business deals, (what she said was) misrepresentation in a major film, a great mixtape and then not so great singles--Kim is still relevant and has a huge fan base.

Kim's career in my opinion is indicative of the sexism and boys-club mentality of the rap music industry. I'm not even talking about the artistic side of things. In terms of business, Kim has been constantly and unfairly plagued by men who felt they could manipulate and deceive her because of her gender. As those dudes have learned--it's just not true. Kim's longevity in rap music for me is a testament to her (and her fans) resistance to the bullshit. And I don't think that should be taken for granted. Whereas many female rappers have switched lanes going into fashion, television, etc etc and no longer actually make records, Kim continues to put stack her chips behind her talent as a lyricist. And I deeply respect her for that because I imagine it is not easy and she is SOOOO much more talented than a lot of dudes who get protracted shine because they have record companies willing to continue to fuel their whack projects by virtue of their genitalia.

*****************
Additional Links of Interest:

Lil Kim Interviewed by Angie Martinez Post Black Friday

Nicki Minaj Interviewed by Sway About Competition in Hip Hop Community (Post Black Friday)

It's Been A Minute: Some Ish I've Been Meaning to Post

2010-12-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

1. Pinky "I'm Hot"

If you don't recognize the name Pinky...you probably don't watch porn. You at the very least don't watch contemporary Black porn actress. Like she said "I'm a trendsetter/Don't follow the masses/i'm the reason these hoes get shots in they asses."

You can also find her at www.pinkyxxx.com and her twitter is therealpinkyxxx

2. Adele "Rolling In The Deep"

I am so excited about this album coming out! I love Adele. On of the best concerts I've seen in a while back in like 2008/2009.

3. Whenparentstext.com and Copyranter are my new crack. I read them all the time.

4. Lil Kim "Black Friday"

This is just a bookmark for a much larger conversation. The song starts at 00:19. I love the moment when the recorded scratches and Kim goes "Shut THE FUCK UP!" Hilarious."Pussy so pink its like my kitty saying hello!"

5. Pink Friday, one of the best album's of the year. Roman's Revenge is getting tons of chatter but honestly I think there are much better songs on the album. I love the whole thing actually. Back to Front. Only critique is to take Will.I.Am's part of "Check It Out" off the album. Could have spent years without that. (Dear Black Eye Peas you are more than the WIA back up singers.)

6. I love everything about the new My Chemical Romance album. I love the videos (which one to post which one to post) and I already bought my ticket for when they come to LA next May.

Ok I'll go with "Sing"

7. Oh have you heard of a little band called The Damned Things? "We've Got A Situation Here"

Scott Ian yo! Andy cut his hair off (old news.) But this is hella good anyway. Metal that doesn't take itself to seriously. I haven't gotten it yet but I've heard amazing things about their album Ironiclast.

Of course there is a whole bunch of political ish that has been going down that I also intend to comment on: "repeal" of DADT, the DREAM Act, LGBT Youth Suicides & the 'new' Anti-Bullying movement, the perils of being a freak in the academy, Black/Brown femme projects I love.

Tasty Tickler: Edens Fantasys' and the "Lelo Tantra Feather Teaser"

2010-11-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

So my product for November is the "Lelo Tantra Feather Teaser." This item can work as both a tickler or to apply things like body dust. That means you can use it for solo or partnered (or more) pleasure. Not to mention the packaging itself is too cool. The teaser comes in a couple of different colors but I went for a classic black.

Super cute right?

My Thoughts on For Colored Girls

2010-11-16T20:44:00.000-08:00

(Disclaimer: I have not seen the film, just an avid fan of the choreopoem)

isn't it interesting in a cultural moment where we might think about the particular experiences of struggle and strife all we can seem to say is that Black men didn't get a fair shake? i see you my brother, i see you.

how about the next time you wanna talk to me about Shange's work you start with how it relates to a little statistic we used to talk about in the BSA that 3 out of 4 Black women (in the US) will experience some sort of sexual assault or abuse in their lives.

ain't it something that the world, not just Black men, can take something that says for whom it was made IN THE TITLE, and still give no comment to that community whatsoever.

A Black woman falls in a forest, is she in trouble? Only if someone important saw it happen.

I am so sick and tired of seeing "mainstream" and "alternative" media alike USE a work of art about BLACK WOMEN as a space to talk about Black men. Not because we can't talk about Black men but because we didn't even engage the art on it's terms.

Is Shange's work to boring, oh boo hoo Black women got it bad...BUT what's really interesting is how that makes us think about Black Men?

Well fuck you.

I'll be over here still giving a shit whether little Black girls can read, and whether they grow up in a world that tells them their worth is more than their ability to support some dude, and whether they hearts, minds, spirits, and bodies are fed by the communities they call home, and whether or not those communities do their JOB to protect those little Black girls.

i found god in myself
& i loved her/i loved her fiercely
- Ntozake Shange

Giving Vox

2010-11-14T06:13:00.000-08:00

This evening I went and saw Vox Femina Los Angeles perform at the Zipper Auditorium in downtown LA. It was a great event first and foremost because of the talent of the choral group (Vox is one of the premier female choral groups in Los Angeles.) It was also a treat to see one of my besties give her first major concert with the group (gooo Morgan!)

But it was important to me in another way.

You see a little over a week ago I found out that my grandmother was ill. It's been a very rocky road since I got the first phone call about Grandma last week. She has been to the hospital and back. I've been from a nervous breakdown and back as well.

This evening was the first major planned event that I made it to since all of the turmoil started. It's day three of not experiencing crying jags. It might be a stretch to say I've come to terms with my grandmother's illness but I can say the serenity prayer again and I am working through my selfish fears about the whole situation. (I struggle with whether or not being selfish about this situation is normal or not, and ultimately whether I should care if it is either way.)

I appreciated to particular performances this evening. The first was a rendition of Psalms 23 that was GORGEOUS. And the second was a part of a performance called Anne Frank: A Living Voice that I think was called "How Can I be Sad?" Both were quite beautiful and uplifting for me (even though I almost cried.)

I was going to wax poetical some more about the meaning of life, and how music uplifts and etc. But instead I'm just going to quit while I'm ahead and leave with the text of the 23rd Psalm.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
²He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
⁴Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever

Developing Our Inner and Outer Beauty: Roxanne S. and the Radiant Beauty Movement

2010-10-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

I am really excited about this next blog post. In part, because I have been meaning to write it for going on two weeks (give probably at least another week.) Also because I think the project that Roxanne and I have developed here is going to be a really interesting one. Okay enough teasing...

One of the great things about being a Smithie is that when I decided to start a blog project highlighting all the creative ways that Black women I knew were making an impact in the world I had to look no further than my facebook friendslist. Smithies do it up BIG.

Like most of the Black women at Smith, Roxanne and I met in some ambiguous time between class and a BSA meeting. My first distinct memory of Roxy is from a class on the Harlem Renaissance that we both took. It was a great experience of being in a class room several Black women all engaged in talk about this particular moment in Black history (and smaking down crazy comments that would some times fly out of the mouths of the "well meaning white people" in the class.)

My next memory is of Roxanne putting together a benefit dinner to raise awareness about Darfur. Now Darfur was the political issue of the moment (that meant lots of people talking about an issue who didn't spend any real time THINKING about the issue) and so I was pleasantly surprised when I attended the event (and performed a poetic piece) with the critical conversations that Roxy was able to orchestrate. It was one of those nights where I walked away feeling like we had done some 'real' work. I remember it also for the way that Roxanne refused to pitch the problem as 'the poor backwards Africans' fighting amongst themselves. No, we talked about colonialism and the United States role in maintaining the conflict. We talked about how the media portrayal supported racist notions of not only the Sudanese but Africans more broadly. We got INTO IT.

Okay so that was what Roxy was doing when we 'met.' And Radiant Beauty, is the project that she is working on now that I want to highlight: Radiant Beauty. Radiant Beauty is "a company that markets, endorses and distributes ARTISTRY skin care and cosmetic products. It is a resource for women looking to enhance their inner and outer beauty." I follow Roxanne across various social media (yes I am a stalker) and I was very excited when she started this project. I'm a Black woman who loves the IDEA of make-up and self-care for my body but who knows very little about how to do any of it. (Seriously I just learned how to put mascara on for reals, and I'm still trying to understand eye shadow.)

As a part of a two-part project I am first going to post the following email interview that I did with Roxanne. In the upcoming weeks then look forward to a follow up piece where Roxanne does a beauty consultation for me and I test run some products!

Ok and now I'm going to shut up and let Roxy speak:

1) Starting a business can be a very intimidating prospect. What motivated you to become an entrepreneur?

I agree it can be a very intimidating opportunity to get involved in but it's also very rewarding not just financially but personally. I've had the chance to listen and talk to very successful individuals and I've also learned so much about myself since I've become an entrepreneur. What motivated me to become an entrepreneur was the chance to have something of my own, something that would, with time and hard work, give me the freedom to do some of the things I want to do that I won't be able to do with a traditional job like writing and traveling more often, for instance. It's the chance to do something creative and financially empowering outside of my job. I'm also motivated by several family members who also have experiences with entrepreneurism. They're drive for success on their own terms has inspired me.

2) What has been the most unexpected benefit of going into business for yourself?

I would say the most unexpected benefit would be freedom. Freedom to be original, freedom to stay true to myself and my values. Even smaller freedoms like working at your own pace and setting your own hours are unexpected benefits.

3) As well as Radiant Beauty you run multiple blogs, work, and are preparing for law school. How do you sustain your enthusiasm for all of these projects?

I have to admit it is a challenging at times but I stay enthusiastic on all of these projects by focusing on my future and what I want it to look like. I have always been a goal-oriented person and I have a lot I hope to accomplish. So by doing everyday actions I know I am moving closer to some of my bigger, long-term goals. I also sustain my enthusiasm through faith, faith that everything isn't just happening by chance but that God is guiding me along the way.

4) People often see business as a very unemotional field. However, I've always thought of Radiant Beauty as growing out of some of the personal struggles and revelations that you have come to while living (and blogging) in the world. What is the Radiant Beauty movement to you?
I agree that sometimes business can be unemotional but it doesn't have to be. When a business is centered on people, it's hard NOT to have some emotional effect. I didn't go into business just seeing people and things as dollar signs, I'm also in it for the service I can provide to my clients and to my community. The Radiant Beauty movement to me is a movement of empowerment for all, but specifically women and even more specifically young women. It's a movement of encouragement and inspiration that I feel is much needed because a lot of women don't feel beautiful or worthy or capable of reaching their fullest potential and I want to play a part in changing that.

5) What are your projected goals for the business and life in general?

My goals for the future include having an international business that expands the Radiant Beauty movement, getting my law degree and being involved in education reform, working towards equality and justice for all children. I also want to be a published author and more involved in serving my community. I just want to have the best life I possibly can while helping and encouraging as many people as I can.

*********************

For the Roxanne Stalkers:

Roxanne Stokes [dot] Com

Radiant Beauty (tumblr)

Radiant Marketing (product store)

RadiantBeautyM (twitter)

TMRC: Update

2010-10-23T22:45:00.000-07:00

Had a great session with my therapist last week when I told him about the Treat Me Right Challenge. Part of my work in the challenge is to do small things like paint my nails every week or so. What this project does is make sure I am intentional about my own personal care.

To be honest however I haven't been treating myself so good in the last couple of weeks. I've been struggling with some financial troubles and as is oft to happen with me that spiraled me into a mini-depressive episode. I haven't been eating the way that I should or in general taking care of myself or my appearance.

The financial trouble has been cleared up so I'm sure I'm on my way to recovery. However, this won't be the last time that I have financial difficulty. I want to figure out strategies towards a healthier outlook regardless of my momentary financial condition.

Things that I have done that I feel proud about:

1) bought a cookbook and started reading it
2) set up weekly appointments with my therapist
3) gone a full week actually following my medication regiment
4) set up hang outs with people outside my 'close' circle
5) staid on top of my classwork for this quarter
6) made concrete plans to visit family for imperialism day vacation (you might know it as thanksgiving)
7) finally got the dance workout dvd i've been wanting for a year
8) made new Black friends (in real life and virtual)
9) started dating again
10) made progress with applying for residency and getting the adaptive technologies i need to be successful in my program
11) started the edenfantasys.com ambassador program
12) talking with friends and family semi-regularly

Looking Like You Belong

2010-10-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

This is an issue that I struggle with constantly. I have most of my life been the odd duck in my social circles.

Belonging is so often about recognition. While recognition is not only about the seen, it is a prominent frame. Mis-recognition based on dress is often an issue.

What then are the various cues that we use to situate ourselves within a group?

This question has been on my mind a lot, not only in my personal life (though of course it is what sparked the thought), but also in my research. Black women who rap often situate themselves via codes of dress and style.

How can you tell the "serious" rappers from the "commercial" rappers?

I know that appearance plays a serious part in how women are understood in rap because often (far more than is interesting) I have people commenting on the dress of the rappers I study.

The above photo of Lil Kim, or more specifically the photo of Diana Ross playing with Lil Kim's nipple cover, is perhaps the most used photo of her in popular conversation. This outfit is seen as some how indicative of who Lil Kim is as a performer. Note, this isn't an outfit from a performance or an album cover. Not to say this isn't an intentional sartorial choice, but what does it mean that we associate Lil Kim with an image of her "off stage." It's like Rose McGowan and the "ass-less" dress. The dresses say little about McGowan or Lil Kim's talents but they are forever associated with them as a definition of "who they are."

But this isn't to say that artist don't make choices around their dress. Or that there is some intentionality around using dress to distinguish between artistic styles. Let's all remember the back and forth between Jay-Z and Jim Jones around Jay-z wearing "flip flops" vs "White Louis Boat Shoes." Where Jim Jones accentuated Jay-Z's shoe choice to critique his "hardness" or "realness" and Jay-Z uses the shoe choice to distinguish between their $$$ status.

Thoughts.

National Coming Out Day

2010-10-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

Rather than attempt to sound coherent about my thoughts on NCOD I'm just going to post this video that I made.

*side note: isn't interesting that Columbus Day and National Coming Out Day are the same day. There is an interesting thought there about celebrating narratives of discovery that could be elaborated on.

Eden Fantasys Testimonial: Platinum Edition Personal Pleasurizer

2010-10-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

EdenFantasy.com works FAST. I decided to sign up for the program on Saturday. I had the product by Thursday. I ordered the Platinum Edition Personal Pleasurizer. I don't usually get down with the pink toys but this one is less a pearly pink and more a hot pink. Other great things about this product is that it is "Phthalates free / Hypo-allergenic / Food-grade material / Latex free." I don't have any allergies and don't intend to share this toy BUT I am definitely interested supporting non-toxic toys. The Pleasurizer comes from a company called California Exotic.

Nicki Minaj Sets Billboard Record With 4M in Sales @ HotNewHipHop.com

2010-10-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

Nicki Minaj Sets Billboard Record With 4M in Sales @ HotNewHipHop.com

Full text:

Nicki Minaj made an undeniable splash on the Billboard charts this year, becoming the first female to top the Rap Songs list with her hit 'Your Love' since Missy Elliott held the same position in November 2002. But that was only the tip of the iceberg for the Young Money raptress breaking records on the Billboard charts.

According to the numbers, Nicki has become the first female rapper to have the most entries lodged on the Billboard Hot 100, with seven entries listed on Nielsen Soundscan's 200 best-selling songs of 2010. The Harajuku Barbie has sold a total of 4,298,000 in sales, including her own solo records as well as joints on which she's been featured.

The highest-selling track of the bunch is Ludacris' 'My Chick Bad,' which sold 1,246,000 copies. Her breakout single 'Your Love' came in a distant second with 755,000 units sold, followed by Lil Wayne's 'Knockout' (519,000), Trey Songz's 'Bottoms Up' (518,000), Usher's 'Lil Freak' (508,000), Sean Kingston's 'Letting Go (Dutty Love)' (377,000) and Jay Sean's '2012' (355,000).

Despite the number of hits, Nicki still has to tackle releasing her debut. The album, 'Pink Friday,' is set to hit stores November 23.

Let's just reiterate:

Despite the number of hits, Nicki still has to tackle releasing her debut. The album, 'Pink Friday,' is set to hit stores November 23.

Why the hate? Do you see the subtlety of it here? She does numbers NEVER ACHIEVED BEFORE BY A FEMALE RAPPER AND YET SHE STILL HAS TO PROVE HERSELF. At this point I'm not sure that Minaj could do enough to make the hiphoperatti give her credit. I think this is due not only to the sexism in the game (because in part ALL female artists have to constantly prove themselves) but also a heterosexism that is uncomfortable with the way Minaj is mobilizing QUEERS into the mainstream rap audience. Her numbers don't count because she's getting sales from people who aren't REAL hiphop. Though be sure all those gangster rappers (no shade, I love gangster rap) who are getting numbers from white kids in the burbs are still going to drop numbers in their rhymes and try and claim some kind of authentic celebrity. Its also because the no-one respects women who rap about sex, their sexuality, or love. Its like being a "chicklit" author.

New Venture: Eden Fantasys Ambassador

2010-10-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

So I've decided to take up a new venture. Namely, I will be writing as an "Ambassador" for the website EdenFantasys.com.

EdenFantasy.com is a very comprehensive sex toy store that also includes the blog EdenCafe, and the magazine Sexis.

I decided to take on this venture because (to be frank) I wanted to explore their VAST catalog. I (hope) that I am known as someone who is in support of the sex "toy" industry. Sex "toys" can simply spice up your sex life (with or without a partner) OR can provide sex aides for support in people exploring and bettering their personal/sexual selves. All in all a good thing.

I'm pretty comfortable talking about toys because...well I went to Smith. And the parties I associated with at Smith did things like host toy parties were the local (Woman Owned) sex shop Oh My came and gave demonstrations and took orders for toys. I think that it is a feminist project for people to explore their sexualities and their bodies to become more comfortable with them (or learn what about those bodies they don't like and/or need to change for their personal/psychological/spiritual contentment.)

So all that to say. I'm doing it because I'm greedy for more toys and too broke to spend tons of money but also because I think its a worthwhile project. I'm sure given the fact that sometimes my family members and friends read this blog it might be uncomfortable...but I'm willing to risk it. I will clearly label all testimonials in the title and tags so read at your own peril. :0)

And because I want to be totally transparent about this decision. I want to post links to recent controversy that Edenfantasy.com has experienced.

Here are two very good round ups:

from Screaming Violet

and from Heartbreak Nymphomania

Dynamos in the House!

2010-10-01T22:29:00.001-07:00

So hopefully you've noticed that I am highlighting the creative projects from my friends and/or people that I admire. I plan to continue to do this. So if you are working on something and (I actually know you) please let me know if you would want to be interviewed.

------------------------------------

I first met Shari during our undergraduate years. We are alums of the same (amazing) school. Like many of my friends during that time, we met at a club meeting. More specifically we met after we were both elected to the executive board of the Black Students' Alliance. I was the Arts and Culture Chair and a sophomore. Shari was the Social chair and a Junior at that time.

Shari has always been to me the epitome of a New York Sista. She is about her B.I.Z., but also hilarious, caring, no nonsense when it calls for it, and fabulously chic pretty much all the time. I remember being intimidated by her New York-ness when we first met but after a few fumbles we became friends.

What I appreciate about Shari, and what I think shines through in her Dynamo Magazine project is her determination to be herself at all times. For Shari that means being INFORMED as well as opinionated. I am constantly impressed with the amount of background research she puts into her work at Dynamo.

While Shari and I have never agreed on EVERYTHING (who does really?), I am always interested in what will come next out of Dynamo. I think too often Black women are taught that our opinions belong behind closed doors. Anything too controversial doesn't belong "on front street." I like seeing Black women speak their truths and I think even if our truths don't align 100% all the time, we all benefit from bringing our full selves into conversation with each other.

1.You were an Economics major in college correct? How/When did you get into writing? When most people think of Economics, they always think about the stock market and the numbers side. Little know that Economics, like Psychology and Sociology, actually is a study of people's behaviors as well. It just does so without all the feelings and emotions though :-) I have always been a writer, lol. Ask any Smith professor, 15+ papers were my favorite. I think I have a lot to say and writing allows me to express myself without the interruption of the person I am talking to. Especially with a lot of the material on Dynamo being sensitive topics in our community, people are more inclined to defend themselves when confronted. When reading we have to just read until the end and then we ask questions or defend ourselves. Usually though, you realize the article addresses your rebuttal and then you can get the moral of the story.

2. Where did the idea for Dynamo Magazine come from? In terms of the start of Dynamo, that came my senior of college when Vibe Vixen stopped publication. Though it's no Dynamo :-), it was a "real" outlet for urban black women to learn info about themselves and our community. As a group we have little outlets to express ourselves without the input of everyone else and that's what I am trying to create with Dynamo. A real platform for black women to discuss all their issues without judgment and criticism from others.

3. What is your writing process like? I basically ramble then hit publish but you seem to put a lot of prep work into your posts. The content comes from my everyday life. As I, my family and friends, and the many women I meet through the blog, question things everyday, we seek answers. A lot of times though, due to lack of time and money, we never really get the information we need. With Dynamo I try to provide real life solutions for the many issues our community has. The posts with regards to spirituality are the hardest. I mean I'm not perfect, so it's hard to sometimes write to cheer people up, when you're not feeling your best. But the kind words and comments, let me know I'm doing the right thing. :-)

4.What keeps you motivated in this project? Outside of the support from the readers, I think the state of the black community motivates me. We never "talk" in our community for fear that some MAN will punish us. In not talking, we don't realize we hurt ourselves. I think first acknowledging what we bring to the table in our situation is what will move us forward.

5. What do you hope for your writing? (Planning for the book down the road?)
My hope for Dynamo is to be able to walk down the block of any urban area and not get shot, lol. I'm joking, but seriously, I want us to understand that we can talk things out and that doesn't make us weak, stupid, or evil. We don't have to resort to violence, we're so much better than that. We are really a great group of people, despite our circumstances in this country and all I'm trying to do is highlight that.

The Treat Me Right Challenge

2010-09-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

So this past week has been eventful. I'm learning that treating myself right is soooo much about time. And not in the ways that I thought. I just wanted to add some stuff into my regimen. But really what I needed to do was to reconsider how I thought of time. What things are worthy of my time. What things are a waste of time. How do I invest my time.

I tend to invest time in: leisure, worrying, talking, sleeping. None of these things are bad in my opinion. But there are other things that I need to be doing that also require time. The fact that I don't think of them being WORTHY of time means I don't often get around to them or don't do them well. Notice on this list that EATING and COOKING are not only list of things that I invest time in.

I've started programming eating times into my phone in order to remind myself to spend time on eating. The more that I get on a regular schedule with my eating the more that I plan to integrate cooking into my time. My first step in this is finding a cook book to work from. I want to purchase the cookbook but I don't have intentions to use it in the immediate future. Right now just getting on the EATING bandwagon is my goal.

The other thing that I want to invest more time in is my appearance. This includes attire, make up, and hair. Each of these things take different amounts of time. I love nail polish. I hate putting on nail polish, removing old nail polish, and I absolutely spend no time whatsoever on any other kind of nail care. Make up is the same way. I have somewhat of a learning curve to overcome there as well. With my attire one of the things I feel I need to invest more time in is upkeep. This includes DOING MY LAUNDRY, actually putting the clothes away, and replacing items once they are beyond decent repair. For example, I haven't bought a new pair of jeans in over a year. I only own like three pairs of jeans that I wear regularly. You can imagine the state of disrepair of the jeans. Hair is one of the few places I feel like I'm making some headway.

But putting myself down for the things that I don't do isn't really treating myself right now is it? So let's highlight some of the things I felt like I am doing well with.

1) Making phone calls and keeping in touch with family and friends.

2)Wearing outfits that make me feel cute! I went clothes shopping in a friends closet last night (being raised broke I'm used to making hand-me-downs my own) and I am really excited about the new pieces I'm adding to my wardrobe. I think style is 9/10ths about what is in your wardrobe. With that in mind I'm going to buy myself some new flats, a pair of flip flops, and 2 pairs of jeans before the weekend is over.

3) I went to the dentist this week. I wound up needing a root canal which says that I definitely need to be prioritizing my dental health more. I had the root canal. Then I went out and bought some "FlossUps" which are individual floss picks. I am terrible at cutting floss string and my memories were preventing me from getting into the practice. I also programmed a reminder into my phone to floss.

4) My hair. I actually just finished doing jumbo twists in my hair. I like the hair style though I'm not sure how to make it professional. This is mainly a concern because I'll be doing alum admission representing tomorrow at a college fair here in LA. I might scar it and then wear it out the rest of the week. It took me several hours (mainly because I had to take breaks or risk falling asleep...BORING) so I'm proud of myself for finishing.

Oh and the last thing I need to get on top of since school is starting again. DOING MY READING AND GETTING ON TOP OF CLASS. MUST INVEST TIME IN THOSE ACTIVITIES.

Film Recommendation: This Film is Not Yet Rated

2010-09-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

So I finally sat down and watched the documentary "This Film Is Not Yet Rated." According to Netflix:

Kirby Dick's provocative documentary investigates the secretive and inconsistent process by which the Motion Picture Association of America rates films, revealing the organization's underhanded efforts to control culture. Dick questions whether certain studios get preferential treatment and exposes the discrepancies in how the MPAA views sex and violence.

What I loved about this film was the historical tracing of the creation of the MPAA, discussing the political and economic aspects of the film rating system, and the EXCELLENT undercover work to discover who sat on the ratings board itself. I think Dick was an great director, I really respected this project and I will definitely watch his work in the future.

I am pretty anti-censorship (excepting when it comes to hate speech.) And I think its very interesting how bluntly its stated that the MPAA is an unconstitutional board. I also thought the comment that Kevin Smith (I love me some Kevin Smith) makes about how much more offensive the brutality against women is (that is constantly allowed into films that have lower ratings and wide release) than the occasional discussion of or depiction of a non-violent consensual sex acts.

This goes back, for me, to a discussion of pornography (or erotic depictions of sex acts.) Interestingly to me, certain feminisms seems more concerned with censoring depictions of female pleasure than in critiquing a wide-spread pandemic of ACTUAL visual representations of non-consensual violence against women (versus visual representations of women enjoying sex acts.) We need to stop making movies that show women coming but SAW can have a franchise. Makes no sense to me. Now I agree that the porn industry could be more concerned with depictions of safer sex practices and has MILES to go with the representations of difference (gender, racial, body types, sexuality.) However, in my humble opinion 'pictures' of people fucking is a lot less dangerous than the gratuitous, consequence-less violence portrayed in American cinema.

How do these two conversations relate? I'm not advocating for MORE censorship of violence in films (as long as said films do not constitute as hate speech.) On the contrary, I am arguing that we need to move past formal and informal (and more infernal) censorship programs and towards a more discursive model of engagement with all kinds of film (porn included.) We're so worried about kids learning to fuck at the "wrong" age (which seems to change about every 100 years so who knows when it'll be okay for kids to be doing it by the time 2100 hits) that we aren't having conversations about oh say SHOOTING PEOPLE HURTS THEM.

Alright down off the soap box.

TMRC: Update

2010-09-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

So its been a while since I've updated on the challenge. I feel like I'm making some headway on the project but its much harder than I anticipated to be honest.

1)I love calling my grandma. We talk for maybe 5 minutes a week but I gather that she enjoys the fact that I call. And I think she's starting to get that I'm going to make it a weekly thing.

2) Taking care of my physical body. I'm not as far as I would like with this goal. I totally stopped with the food diary. It never materialized. I need to get on track with that. Also just in general getting on track of my eating is a big deal for me.
a) One big thing for me is retraining my mind to think of preparing meals as a NECESSARY time expenditure versus something that is taking my time away from "more important" projects.
b) Another realization. I need to go to the dentist. I'm having a lot of tooth aches and I don't have to. Once again its more about re-prioritizing. Taking care of my teeth is a financial commitment but its one that I *want* to make. I don't really care about having the perfect smile. But I do know that I don't have to be in pain. It doesn't help with the whole eating thing either.

3)I CANNOT WRITE. Forget writing not for school. I'm just trying to write ANYTHING. This post is the most I've written in like two weeks. And its more like a journal entry than something composed. Sigh. I hate the blockage. I'm not sure what I can do about it. But the point of this project isn't to magically solve all my problems but to be dedicated to working through them. So while I am frustrated about not meeting my writing goals...I'm happy that I continue to try.

4) Reading. I am actually doing pretty good on this level. I read a little on the bus to and from campus. Also when I find myself sitting around not really doing anything I try to take out the book of the moment and focus on that instead. I'm working my way through a Smithie book (one written by a Smithie) right now. It's pretty deep and is taking me a while. I read maybe a chapter or two in each sitting (chapters being like five pages.)

5)Making phone calls or at least talking with people on the phone is still a pretty big goal of mine. I talk with my grandma yes. Talking with other people is so much harder for me. I don't know what it is about the phone that freaks me out. I do think I'm being more intentional about spending time with people and organizing moments to do so. But the phone is my enemy.

So that's my update. I'm working on it basically.

The Treat Me Right Challenge GOAL ACHIEVED

2010-09-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

So one of my goals for this challenge is to start reading OUTSIDE of my classwork and research. To that end I began reading Learning Outside the Lines: Two Ivy League Students with Learning Disabilities and ADHD Give You the TOols for Academic Success and Educational Revolution. If you don't know I was recently diagnosed with both an LD and ADHD.

This book was AMAZING. I think its great for both people with LD/ADHD or for people who are interested in working with students with LD/ADHD. I totally wish I had read this while I was in undergrad but I am glad that it has come into my life now.

Great points for this book:

1) It's more than a instructional book

2) It's really fluffy/crunchy (all about the loving onself)

3) There is a lot of excellent sharing of the coauthors own stories. This made me feel both happy to find resemblances between my own academic struggles (but also guilty because I didn't seem to being as "bad off."

4) The study tips are really great (I'm excited about implementing them in the new academic year.)

5) This book considers itself to be a political project. This is about educational REVOLUTION and I'm all behind that.

The not so great points

1. I can't think of any.

Treat Me Right Challenge Update Week One

2010-09-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

Last week I started the Treat Me Right Challenge. Here is my update:

1) Writing: I haven't been getting in as much writing as I wanted for the week. Most of my writing energy is going towards academic projects right now. I would be more frustrated by this if I wasn't SOOO behind in my work. I'm actually kind of happy with the progress I've made in terms of academics.

2)Grandma: I forgot to call her on Friday. Will call today and again on Friday this week.

3)Did talk with two sisters, my mom, and one of my besties (via Gchat.) I realize this exercise is important not only because I need to be more open with my life and sharing my challenges with people (oh how I learned that lesson over the past week) but also because I want to be more intentional about caring for my friends.

4) Nutrition and health. Went to the nutritionist last week. Pretty happy with the results of the meeting. Not as happy with my post-meeting actions. Started a food diary at the request of my nutritionist. What I've learned: I don't eat enough, I am not taking in enough variety of food, and I have no schedule around eating whatsoever. My goals for the moment are to eat regularly and with more variety.

5) Money...oh wow. Last week was topsy turvey. Pats on the back for keeping working constantly on my financial situation. But definitely learning that I need to be serious about my budget and SAVING because I am exhausted by the emotional upheaval that money puts me through. So this week my challenge is just to keep making calls. Figure out what's going with my fin aid. Talk with my creditors about some sort of payment plan. ASK FOR HELP.

Even though it was a challenging week. I do think I'm trying. And I'm proud of myself for getting back into the ring after all my set backs. Also I'm just sooo much more appreciative of the family that I have hear in LA. With all the crazy going on they have taken care of me when I had like no idea what I was going to do. They also feed me when I have no money. Good people. I'm glad to see that more clearly.

"Seeing Women in History Makes History Look Different"

2010-09-01T11:46:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I visited the Autry Center in Los Angeles to see an exhibit called Home Lands: How Women Made the West. The title of this post get's its name from an amazing sign on the wall of the Autry that I just loved.

This was my first time visiting the Autry, I was invited to go by my good friend The Champ (which is her nickname in real life too) who had seen the exhibit and gave a glowing review of it. Being the history nerd that I am I just had to check it out as well. So the Champ and I got in her car and drove out to Griffith Park on the last day of the exhibit.

We were quite lucky because Docent Skip had some free time before the next official tour was supposed to start and upon hearing that we were women's studies grad students he decided that we would benefit from a more specialized tour. DOCENT SKIP ROCKS. If you ever visit the Autry ask for him.

So we get a semi-private tour of the exhibit (some other museum visitors wandered in and out of our conversations.) I'm not going to give a run down of the whole exhibit (even though I took notes) but I instead wanted to share a story of this amazing woman I found out about because of the exhibit.

That woman is Justina Ford. There was actually a (yellow) life size statue of her at the entrance of the exhibit. Justina Ford was the first Black woman doctor in Colorado. Working in the Denver area, Dr. Ford was not allowed to practice in the City hospital due to segregationist laws. She was not admitted into the American Medical Association until a year before her death in 1952 (born in 1871.) Dr. Ford delivered over 7,000 babies in the Denver area, catering often to low-income communities of color (as well as immigrant white families) by the end of her career she spoke eight languages.

To be honest, I did not expect for the exhibit to discuss the racial or ethnic dimensions of Women in the west. I was pleasently surprised to find detailed discussions about all kinds of women who "made" the west. From Native women (largely Cheyenne), to Black women, to Japanese women in the Puget sound region. This is an excellent exhibit that goes into a complex history.

I would greatly suggest looking into seeing the exhibit (its going to be in St. Louis and then Oklahoma City.) I would suggest either purchasing the book that goes along with the exhibit or asking for a docent who is either familiar with the collection (and the histories of the areas discussed therein) or who has done background research. A lot of the stuff that I learned on my trip came directly from Docent Skip's on curiosity about the exhibit.

If you're not a history nerd like me but are a archive/museum/architect nut. This exhibit is also for you. I was very impressed by the structure of the exhibit, from the traditional wall instillations to the free standing piping. Plus there is a lot of great interactive aspects of the museum to get kids interested.

Here are some photos from the exhibit courtesy of The Champ.

I will follow up with stories of more of the women of this exhibit later.

Fwd: WMST-L Digest - 21 Aug 2010 to 22 Aug 2010 (#2010-214)

2010-08-23T01:00:00.001-07:00

Received this in the mail today. Check w/ the Newcomb Center to see what else they do for remembrance.

-Gogo

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sun, 22 Aug 2010 11:59:15 -0500
From:
Subject: From Newcomb: Katrina 5 year anniversary - WMST scholarship, reflection, art from/about New Orleans, Gulf South

During the week of the Katrina5 anniversary, Sophielab [the feminist
participatory media lab] at Newcomb College Center for Research on
Women in New Orleans will present relevant slices of our program
archives for your reflection and comment.

First up: SHAKE LOOSE OUR SKIN, the Fall 2004 Zale Writer-in-Residence
event convened by Visiting Tulane Mellon Professor Mab Segrest, and
featuring returning Zale Writers Sonia Sanchez, Linda Hogan, and
Joanna Scott.

SHAKE LOOSE OUR SKIN: A Litany and Celebration - Zale Writer-in-
Residence 20th Anniversary (November 2004)

http://vimeo.com/album/678163

Enjoy it. Make use of it. Pass it on.

Sophielab
Newcomb College Institute
newcomb.tulane.edu

The Treat Me Right Challenge

2010-08-21T23:54:00.000-07:00

August is my birthday month rapidly followed by September which has for the past five years acted as MY new year month (yay ACADEMIA) more than January. So right now I'm feeling like things are in their renewal stage. It's all possible these days. Time to recommit to taking better care of myself.

During my birthday post I wrote the following were my goals for the new year:

To write more
To work at my financial health
To take better care of my physical body
To be intentional about the people I choose to spend time with
To dance more

And in an attempt to get me to actually start implementing some of these goals I've decided to give myself the TREAT ME RIGHT CHALLENGE.

Rules of the challenge:
- Go to or Host at least one low cost (spending $10 or less) event each week (blog about it)
- Call my Grandmother every Friday
- Write for 15 minutes everyday
- Using my car only if bus transportation is unreasonable
- Developing a Budget (that I will blog about)
- Start seeing a nutritionist, developing a new eating plan for myself,
- Call: my mother, at least three sisters, TFR, and one other friend each week for at least 15 minutes
- Read 1 book for pleasure a month (blog about it)

There are a lot of things on this list (to me at least) but the point is to be very intentional about setting goals for myself. Unclear goals do NOT help with my anxiety. I will blog about how I meet or do not meet my goals each week with details in the sections that I have tagged already.

And her is the song title inspiration to go a long with it.

4 28 1967

2010-08-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

David Banner dropped this on twitter earlier this morning. I need to design a t-shirt that is like THIS IS HOW THE SOUTH DOES CONSCIOUSNESS and put Banner's name on it. Who else would be on that t-shirt?

What's Happening in the Academic World

2010-08-20T19:04:00.000-07:00

Lot's of interesting conferences are going to be happening this year. While I know I can't go to all of them (oh how I wish I could though.) I definitely want to put information out there for anyone else who is interested in similar areas of research. So below are some call for papers for conferences that I think would be cool to attend.

___________________________________________________________________________________

DEADLINE EXTENDED: 12th Annual Graduate Conference in African-American History, University of Memphis

Location:	Tennessee, United States
Call for Papers Date:	2010-09-12 (in 23 days)
Date Submitted:	2010-08-17
Announcement ID:	178210

The Graduate Association for African-American History (GAAAH) at The University of Memphis invites graduate students at all levels to submit proposals for its 12th Annual Graduate History Conference in African American History, to be held November 10-12, 2010, in Memphis, Tennessee. We welcome the submission of individual papers, complete sessions, workshops, and roundtables on all topics relating to the scholarship and teaching of the history of African Americans and blacks throughout the Diaspora. We hope to elicit the participation of graduate students who represent a broad range of disciplinary and methodological approaches.

This year’s conference will include a keynote address by Dr. Leon Litwack of the University of California-Berkeley. Individual paper proposals should include a 300-word abstract; author contact information, including a paper title; postal address and e-mail address; and 1-3 page curriculum vitae. The organizers of complete sessions should send, in a single submission, abstracts and cvs for each of the paper presenters; cvs for the session chair and commentator; and a 200-word description of the session. All submissions should include contact information for all participants. Please list audio-visual requirements, if any. The submission deadline for proposals is September 12, 2010. All submitted papers will be considered for the “Memphis State Eight Best Paper Prize” which is voted on by University of Memphis professors and awarded to the conference’s best paper. The prize includes a monetary award. Second and third place papers will also be recognized. Participants will be notified of acceptance by September 17, 2010 and completed 10-12 page papers must be received no later than October 15, 2010 to secure program placement. Students are required to submit one copy of their proposal and 10-12 page paper via email in addition to sending hard copies in the mail.

Michael Blum
University of Memphis
Department of History
219 Mitchell Hall
Memphis, TN 38152

Also, please submit all proposals by email to:
mblum@memphis.edu

For more information contact:
Michael Blum, mblum@memphis.edu, (240) 899-2373 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (240) 899-2373 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
Dr. Aram Goudsouzian, agoudszn@memphis.edu, (901) 678-2520 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (901) 678-2520 end_of_the_skype_highlighting

Email: mblum@memphis.edu

AAAHRP 2011 Conference Call for Papers

Location:	Washington, United States
Call for Papers Date:	2010-10-15
Date Submitted:	2010-08-16
Announcement ID:	178190

The Association for African American Historical Research and Preservation (AAAHRP) is now accepting proposals for topics concerning Black history, culture and genealogy for its one-day Black History Conference which will be held on Saturday, February 5, 2011 at the Northwest African American Museum (NAAM), Seattle, Washington.

With this, our 6th Black History Conference, AAAHRP continues to narrow the gap between historians and the public by encouraging cooperation among university-based scholars, librarians, historic preservationists, museum professionals, students, and the general public.

The conference theme is “Black History at Home and Abroad: Uncovering the Past.” We welcome the submission of proposals for individual papers, complete sessions, panels, workshops, and roundtables. The AAAHRP Conference Committee is particularly interested in proposals for innovative presentations about the African Diaspora Around the World. Other subjects of particular interest include, but are not limited to:

America and a Post Racial Society
Black Pioneers of the Pacific Northwest
Black Radical Organizations
Black Women Unrecognized in History Books
Blacks and the Military
Civil Rights Organizations: Are They Still Relevant?
Early Human Rights and Civil Rights Activists
Forgotten Black Leaders of Past Centuries
Intellectuals and Literary Figures, Playwrights and Artists
Marcus Garvey and His Movement

Presentation guidelines: Individual paper presentations should be approximately 20 minutes long and should be original works of scholarship that have not been presented or published elsewhere. Paper sessions should include 3-4 papers. Panels, workshops, and roundtables should be approximately 90 minutes long.

Proposals of 250-300 words are being accepted until October 15, 2010. They should be sent electronically to history3@comcast.net with “2011 Conference Proposal” as the subject.

All proposals must have a title page with the following information: The title and type of presentation (paper, panel, etc.), name(s) of presenters, affiliation, e-mail address, and phone number.

Individuals wishing to chair a session should submit their CV.

Authors of selected proposals will be notified no later than November 15, 2010.

AAAHRP always welcomes participants from outside the United States, but please note that we cannot provide any financial support for travel or lodging.

Conference papers will be considered for inclusion in a special AAAHRP conference publication, so the conference will also serve as a basis for publishing an integrated body of articles.

For additional information contact Ed Diaz at history3@comcast.net. To learn more about the Association for African American Historical Research and Preservation visit www.aaahrp.org. For information about the the Northwest African American Museum visit www.naamnw.org. Please do not contact NAAM concerning this Call for Papers (CFP).

Ed Diaz
Association for African American Historical Research and Preservation
P.O. Box 17596
Seattle WA 98127
206-547-5394 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 206-547-5394 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
Email: history3@comcast.net
Visit the website at http://www.aaahrp.org

___________________________________________________________________________________

And for something a little different the ASALH is debuting a new online journal called fire and are now accepting article submissions. The new journal will be called FIRE!!!: The Multimedia Journal of Black Studies.

Call for Papers Date:	2011-08-31
Date Submitted:	2010-08-16
Announcement ID:	178187

CALL FOR ARTICLES

The Association for the Study of African American Life and History (ASALH) proudly announces the creation of Fire!!!: The Multimedia Journal of Black Studies. Designed to connect Black Studies scholarship with the Digital Revolution in the Age of Communication, Fire!!! serves as a contemporary conduit through which Black Studies knowledge can be distributed. The journal’s unique contribution is the use of the digital world in providing a peer-reviewed venue for scholars who utilize multimedia evidence to advance their theories and interpretations.

Fire!!! is a multi-disciplinary journal that serves primarily the social sciences, arts, and humanities. The journal welcomes research that crosses the lines of traditional disciplines and focuses on contemporary issues that expand the intellectual realm of Black Studies. Our goal is to use media to increase the kinds of primary evidence that can be brought to bear to expand knowledge.

Fire!!! is interested in obtaining articles, review essays, and reviews for its February and August 2011 issues. All articles and review essays should be between 7,500 and 12,000 words. The maximum file size for each (including media) is 10 mb. Fire!!! publishes reviews of feature films and documentaries, audio recordings, theatrical productions, websites, museum exhibits, and books relevant to teaching courses on Black life, history, and culture. Scholars interested in submitting reviews should contact the editors before submitting.

Fire!!! will be distributed to institutional libraries through JSTOR. If you are interested in contributing to this cutting-edge publication visit our website for submission guidelines. www.fire-jbs.org

Questions? Contact the editors at: editors@fire-jbs.org

Marilyn M. Thomas-Houston, Ph.d.
Joint Associate Professor of Anthropology &
African American Studies
University of Florida

Email: editors@fire-jbs.org

BOTTOMS UP!

2010-08-20T11:29:00.000-07:00

I have nothing intelligent to include with this post. I just love this video. I need more people I wish I was having sex w/ to appear in the same place at the same time (I see you Bruce and Halle.)

Netflix: Queens of Hip Hop

2010-08-20T00:16:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching the documentary Queens of Hip Hop on Netflix. I've quite enjoyed the documentary and have been meaning to watch it for over a year now. I tend to get very frustrated by the ways that female rappers are talked about in documentaries and stay away from them. Usually there is a lot of patronizing and pathologization. And some more p-words that I don't like. Plus there always seem to be a bias around whether the docs will feature "commercial" artists and "underground" artists.

So what was great about this documentary is:

1) It had a lot of well-known names but also some unknowns (for me at least)

2) There were women from all over the country and various ethnicities.

3) We got to hear/see some of the women's material (which I like b/c I hate seeing docs where people try to tell me someone is dope then I look them up and they are WHACK)

4) NO TALKING HEADS

5) Rah Digga (I really love her.)

What was not so great about the documentary was:

1) WRITING RHYMES- I know its particularly important in rap vs other genres of Black music whether people write their own shit. But honestly I don't care, tons of amazing performers don't write their own ish. Or they don't get credit for writing their own ish. The conversation around WHO WRITES THEIR OWN SHIT for female rappers is supper played out in my opinion. Because a female rapper didn't write the rhymes doesn't mean she isn't grinding in the biz in other ways. And there are plenty of successful rappers who write their own fairytale raps so what's authentic anyway?

2) NO TALKING HEADS (what it can be both) opinions are great. But being an egghead I also like big words and "positioning."

3)WHACK RAPPERS I won't name names but I didn't think everyone interviewed was actually all that great.

4) Where was the South?

5) Editing, a couple of times the video would drop out just as someone was speaking and it would sound semi-interesting but I don't really know what people said. If you don't want to include that part please do a fade out or something b/c I was confused.

Nicki Minaj: New Video for My Love

2010-08-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

So Nicki has a new video out for her song "Your Love." Having watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon recently this video is pinging all over the place for me. I've become really interested lately on Nicki's use of Asian imagery in her music. I think its pretty easy to write it off as orientalism. However, knowing a little bit about Minaj's heritage shed's some interesting insights. Minaj's family is from Trinidad. People don't realize that in the early 20th century (will check the actual date and get back to you) many immigrants from East Asia began to migrate) Mexico and the area we now call the Caribbean.

I can't claim to know Minaj's particular ethnic history but i do believe that her persona is a good example of how the new academic discussion of the "Black Pacific" is on the rise in cultural studies. Now Black Pacific studies focus around issues of the Afro-Latin Culture but some work is being done on the intersections of Afro/Asian and Latino Cultures in the Lands around the pacific.

So Minaj's video is interesting to me because it brings up questions of cultural ownership, historical memory, Black ethnicity (we come in all kinds of flavors), and hip-hop as a glocal phenomenon. As much as Minaj's Trini roots potentially affect her persona so does her life as Queens, NY.

Fwd: You and I can't yield -- not now, not ever.

2010-08-17T11:28:00.001-07:00

Well this is some exciting sh*t. I'm still more than a little perterubed by the NAACP actually trying to attack Shirley Sherrod in the first place (for real homies, for real) but seeing this obvious joint effort (and Ms. Sherrod put some real political fire in this speech if I say so myself) is good. Don't you just love it when a Black woman is like..."naw naw honey time to set the record straight." Glad this was in my inbox this morning.

What do you think?

(Though to be honest I think it's a brilliant move on Sherrod's part and more of a public image clean up on the NAACP's part. But whatever, use them when you need to boo. Get your message out there and make sure everyone knows the real deal. The NAACP can just suck it up IMO.)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Shirley Sherrod <info@naacpnet.org>
Date: Tue, Aug 17, 2010 at 11:16 AM
Subject: You and I can't yield -- not now, not ever.
To: Gogo

Jocelyn,

Back in March, I delivered a speech to an NAACP Freedom Fund banquet in my home state of Georgia. I drew on my personal life story to urge poor people, white and black, to pull together and overcome racial divisions. We have to understand that our struggle is against poverty and against those who are blocking our path out of poverty.

Unless we figure this out, I warned, our communities won't thrive and our children won't prosper.

As you know, a Tea Party blogger named Andrew Breitbart released an intentionally deceptive, heavily edited clip from that speech to make it look as if I was delivering exactly the opposite message. Then Fox News blasted that false message across America's airwaves, creating a firestorm that led to my ouster as the USDA State Director here in Georgia.

Not long ago, I sat here in my living room in Albany, Georgia for an afternoon of deep conversation with NAACP President Benjamin Jealous. As he has done in public, Ben movingly apologized for the fact that the NAACP was initially hoodwinked by Breitbart and Fox into supporting my removal. I told him what I want to tell you.

That's behind us, and the last thing I want to see happen is for my situation to weaken support for the NAACP. Too many people confronted by racism and poverty count on the NAACP to be there for them, especially those in rural areas who often have nowhere else to turn.

People ask me, "Shirley, how are you getting through all of this?" I tell them that, if they knew what I have lived through, they'd understand that these current challenges aren't about to throw me off course.

When I was 17 years old, my father was murdered by a white man in Baker County, Georgia. There were three witnesses, but the grand jury refused to indict the person responsible. I knew I had to do something in answer to my father's death.

That very night, I made a commitment that I would stay in the South and fight for change.

I have lived true to that commitment for 45 years. I didn't yield when, just months after my father was killed, they came in the middle of the night to burn a cross in front of our house with my mother, four sisters, and the baby brother my father never got to see still inside.

And I'm surely not going to yield because some Tea Party agitator sat at his computer and turned everything I said upside down and inside out.

I learned a lot of lessons from my parents growing up, but one of the most important ones is what my mother taught her children after our father was killed. She told us we mustn't try to live with hate in our hearts.

My mother led by example. Just 11 years after that cross-burning incident, she became the first black elected official in Baker County, and she's still serving, still working to bring people together.

You and I have to keep working as well. Change has to start with us. I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I have received over these last few weeks. It means so much to me and my family.

But you and I have to make sure that people all across the country who wage a daily struggle against poverty and racism have support networks as well. And that's why your personal involvement in sustaining the NAACP is so critical.

The NAACP confronts the virulent racism that my family and so many other families have had to endure. But it is also leading the way in breaking down the structural barriers that block so many people's paths out of poverty.

In our struggle between the "haves" and the "have-nots," they want to keep the poor divided - and we have to insist, by our words and our actions, that there is no difference between us.

As we move forward together, I urge you to remember this: Life is a grindstone. But whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.

Thank you for all you are doing to challenge poverty and racism. I look forward to working and struggling right by your side.

Sincerely,

Shirley Sherrod

Bonne Anniversaire!

2010-08-12T18:54:00.001-07:00

So It's my birthday. Another year on the clock. I'm celebratng it with two of my favorite people, my twin and oldest nephew.

I find myself on this most amazing day (I love my birthday) reflecting just a little on life. I turn 24 today. Which puts me one year away from a major milestone, the big two five.

Let me start by saying that I LOVE getting older. I love celebrating all the changes you go through in over year. I like to reflect on where I *thought* I would be by this time and where I truly am. I like moving forward in my life. I like the anticipation I feel for the upcoming year. Every year is a new memory. Some years are harder than others. And It's been a while since I've walked away without at least a couple of scrapes. But I'm happy every year I get to keep going on the journey.

So this year I've been thinking a lot about "the old me." When I was 14 years old, I was knee deep in metal, being pseudo goth, and the wonderful world of JNCO. I wonder if that young girl, who hated all "mainstream" rap, planned to teach high school, and was sure she would never drink ever. I was planning to study comparative literature in college. I was going to own my own home by the time I was 30. I would never be broke like my family and I only maybe sort of liked girls.

What would this person have thought of me? Would she take one look at the high heels and the clothes with bows and flowers all over them and call me a sell out? Would she be proud of all of the political work that I've done or would she think I was naive? She would definitely be proud that I had managed to get into a research one university for my PhD. But she might be upset that I'm still constantly plagued with financial troubles. I don't think she would mind the whole bisexual thing but she definitely wouldn't get the Christian stuff.

I am so far from were I thought I would be when I was 14. I am so exactly where I think my path was meant to lead me.

So resolutions or goals for the next year:

To write more
To work at my financial health
To take better care of my physical body
To be intentional about the people I choose to spend time with
To dance more

I wonder where the next 365 will take me.

POWER

2010-08-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

I love this new video by Kanye. That is all.

Bits of Peace: An Interview with Sean P of the Cocker Spaniels.

2010-08-02T12:27:00.001-07:00

I finally was able to continue the recent interview process I began with Sean Padilla of the Cocker Spaniels (really Sean IS the C.Spaniels.) The one man band has actually released a new album "Sometimes You've Gotta Fight to Get a Bit of Peace" recently released on Hornbuckle Records. So my only real claim to any kind of indie cred was kind enough to respond to a few questions from me about the new album release.

The album is, of course, bananas and I would suggest you go pick it up yesterday. If you're lucky you might get one of the limited edition 'zines included with the first 60 albums. Trust me it's worth it. The 'zine comes with photos, lyrics, and great anecdotes about the making of and inspiration behind each track.

And without further ado:

Gogo: Let's talk album, how would you describe the album? Does it have an overall theme/concept or is it more a collection of work over the past couple of years?

SP: "Sometimes You've Gotta Fight to Get a Bit of Peace" the result of the life experiences I've accumulated and the musical progress I've made over a three-year time span.

If the lyrics have an overall theme, it's the struggle to define who I am and what kind of life I want to lead, in spite of people and institutions that have hindered my self-actualization. I left relatives, friends, lovers, jobs and churches behind in order to become a freer and more focused person, and many of the album's songs address both the positives and negatives of the process. I missed my family, but didn't want to remain in an economically and psychologically oppressive city to be with them; I wanted to devote more of my life to music, but didn't want to starve because of it; I wanted to maintain a relationship with God, but didn't want to follow the illogical rules of God's representatives.

Musically, the album reflects a more diverse set of influences: hints of R&B, shoegaze, Tropicalia, dub, and electronic music appear in the songs. Although the album was still a homemade, low-budget affair, I bought better recording equipment, so the fidelity is higher. I'm a better singer, writer, musician, arranger and performer than I was when I released my previous album six years ago, and I believe that it shows.

Gogo: What has your creative process been like?

SP: My writing process is more scattershot than the hyper-composed nature of my songs would imply. I write sets of lyrics and sets of melodies/riffs whenever inspiration strikes me, and put together different combinations of lyrics and music until I find a good fit. My recording process is a bit more streamlined: I always record the drums first, then the guitars & keyboards, then the bass & vocals. After that, I add or remove whatever I feel the song needs. I try to adhere to what Chad Clark (of the Beauty Pill) calls "song monogamy": I don't start recording another song until I finish recording the one I'm currently working on. That way, I'm forced not to spend too much time recording a song, lest I get creatively constipated.

Gogo: Recording vs playing live?

SP: Playing live has become less stressful for me than recording, simply because any wrong notes I sing or play disappear immediately after they're heard, and audiences rarely notice them unless I draw attention to them. Recording, on the other hand, immortalizes everything...yet, it's still the more personally fulfilling of the two activities for that same reason.

Gogo: You're DIY-ing a lot of the promotion and etc yourself; is that an intentional choice? Overall how have you felt about it?

SP: Doing everything myself is a pain in the ass sometimes, but it's an intentional choice. First of all, I simply can't afford a manager, a publicist or a booking agent; even if I could, I'd still want to be as hands-on as possible so that I can fully understand the mechanics of the music business. I believe that artists need to pay more attention to administrative manners, as long as they don't significantly hinder the music-making process. Second of all, most people on the "industry" side of the music industry don't really know what to make of my music. Even if they LIKE it, they can't figure out how to promote or book me. Therefore, I'd rather just do it myself: I'd have just as good a success rate, if not higher.

Gogo: New album, new tour? What are your plans post release?

SP: I'm in the process of promoting five shows I'm playing in Texas during the month of August to support the album; choosing which songs of mine I'd like to record for an upcoming EP; and booking a tour of the East Coast for late October and early November. Once I return from tour, I plan to bring 2011 in by beginning work on the next full-length album, and booking a tour of the Midwest & West Coast for the spring.

******

Victory in Christian Legal Society v. Martinez!

2010-06-28T12:38:00.001-07:00

Glad to hear it.

Subject: Victory in Christian Legal Society v. Martinez!

Email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser.

Victory in Christian Legal Society v. Martinez!

Today, the U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 decision, affirmed the University of California-Hastingsâ€™ decision to deny funding to student groups that discriminate against its LGBT students. In rejecting the Christian Legal Societyâ€™s First Amendment challenge, the Court concluded:

â€œCompliance with Hastingsâ€™ all-comers policy...is a reasonable, viewpoint-neutral condition on access to the student-organization forum. In requiring CLS—"in common with all other student organizations—tto choose between welcoming all students and forgoing the benefits of official recognition, we hold, Hastings did not transgress constitutional limitations. CLS, it bears emphasis, seeks not parity with other organizations, but a preferential exemption from Hastingsâ€™ policy. The First Amendment shields CLS against state prohibition of the organizationâ€™s expressive activity, however exclusionary that activity may be. But CLS enjoys no constitutional right to state subvention of its selectivity.â€ Click here to read the entire decision.

The National LGBT Bar Association applauds todayâ€™s historic decision as a victory for LGBT law students across the country. Tomorrow, the LGBT Bar will be hosting a national call-in to discuss the case. The 30-minute call will be led by Shannon Minter, lead litigator for the University of California-Hastings, and Benjamin Gruenstein, an associate with Cravath, Swaine and Moore LLP who helped write the LGBT Barâ€™s amicus brief in the case.

Christian Legal Society v. Martinez National Call-In
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 | 3:00-3:30pm EDT
Click here to sign up for the call and receive dial-in information

Background:
In 2004, the Christian Legal Societyâ€™s chapter at the University of California-Hastings filed a lawsuit after the school denied a funding request because of the groupâ€™s anti-LGBT discrimination policy. The question before the Court was whether the â€œConstitution allows a state law school to deny recognition to a religious student organization because the group requires its officers and voting members to agree with its core religious viewpoints.â€

Earlier this year, the National LGBT Bar Association and its Law Student Division teamed up with 55 LGBT law student groups at our nationâ€™s top law schools to file an amicus brief in Christian Legal Society v. Martinez. Click here to read the LGBT Barâ€™s brief defending the University and their anti-discrimination policy. The LGBT Bar would like to thank our hardworking team at Cravath, Swaine and Moore LLP, especially Michael T. Reynolds, Benjamin Gruenstein, and James Derek Mize. The LGBT Bar would also like to thank the 55 LGBT law student organizations for taking part in this historic opportunity.

###

The National LGBT Bar Association is a national association of lawyers, judges and other legal professionals, law students, activists, and affiliated LGBT legal organizations. The association promotes justice in and through the legal profession for the LGBT community in all its diversity.

www.lgbtbar.org

You are receiving this email because of you opted in at our website, attended an LGBT Bar event (including Lavender Law) or have an interest in LGBT legal issues.

Our mailing address is:
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Copyright (C) 2009 National LGBT Bar Association All rights reserved.

DJ Khaled "All I Do Is Win" feat. Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain & Snoop Do...

2010-06-23T05:46:00.000-07:00

This is my current jam. Have to remind myself of all the greatness that I accomplish because to often the bullsh*t is on the front burner of my mind. All I do is win. (Side note: Snoop totally messed up the flow of this song. Also I need Ross to stop putting out dope features. Though he (or whomever) should still write for Diddy because I'm enjoying that.)

Fwd: ASAN Update on NCD Confirmation

2010-06-23T05:36:00.001-07:00

This is another ASAN Update for bloggers in the Autistic and disability rights communities. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network would like to thank President Obama and the U.S. Senate for the nomination and confirmation of ASAN President Ari Ne'eman to serve as a member of the National Council on Disability (NCD). He will be the first Autistic person to serve as a member of NCD. An independent federal agency, NCD makes recommendations to the President and Congress on issues of importance to Americans with disabilities. To learn more about NCD, go to http://www.ncd.gov

An article about the confirmation can be found on Disability Scoop:

http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2010/06/22/neeman-confirmation/9133/

As always, we encourage you to contact us with your comments, and please let us know if you would prefer to receive these announcements at a different address or to be removed from the list.

Best regards,

Meg Evans, Director of Community Liaison
Autistic Self Advocacy Network
mmevans@woh.rr.com

----------------
I'm really excited to hear that a self-advocate will be working on the NCD council. I started learning about disability rights issues from an awesome self-advocate/student affairs person at my undergrad. And the more I looked into disability justice movement I was drawn to self-advocates like Nina Aargon and CripChick. Since then I've been (one, diagnosed with more than one disability myself) and a big believer in self-advocacy work. The disability justice movement isn't the last frontier in terms of allies that think they know more about what the needs are and how to advocate on behalf of marginalized or discriminated against group members (hello poverty, anti-racism, medical "epidemic," and natural disaster response); however, its definitely a major area of concern in my opinion.

One of my goals for this summer is to explore the issue of learning disabilities advocacy and outreach. Admittedly I thought that I might have a learning disability for most of my life. But because of shame about my learning difficulties and the stigma around "getting tested" I ignored it/them. However, starting graduate school and wanting to get on a better page with my study habits led me to being tested and then diagnosed. Since then, I've largely dealt with this issue on an internal level or you know not dealt with it. I feel like it's not something that is discussed both to maintain the privacy of people with disabilities or to protect PwDs from the stigma and discrimination that comes from a largely ignorant dominant culture.

I could write a much larger piece on how I feel as a Black woman in academia who speaks openly (though not as knowledgeably as I would like) about having a learning disability as well as mental health issues (hmmm what to call that.) However, that is a whole 'nother post. FOCUS ON THE VICTORY.

Book Review: Let the Dead Bury Their Dead by Randall Kenan

2010-06-16T21:54:00.001-07:00

I want to write an amazing review for this book because it is just that...amazing. I began this book at the behest of one of my advisors. An exploration into the world of magical realist fiction. I am so glad that I actually paid attention to this recommendation (even if it took me three months to finish the book.)

Randall Kenan is a superb writer. Let the Dead Bury Their Dead is a collection of short stories written in various point's of view and linguistic styles. It is definitely a testament to Kenan's craft that the stories string together so well. At the core of the book is the town of Tim's Creek. It's a town that reminds me of my own home town. Old as hell. So southern it seeps from every description and the way the characters speak and think. Filled with chillingly dark histories that are the core of a Southern past.

However, the book isn't a lamentation of the tragedy of the small Southern town. Its more like a salutation or a celebration. Its digging deep inside it and showing all the parts. From the gleaming smiles to the bruises and scars. It is in essence like living in the south.

There is racism and sexism and evangelical Christian hypocrisy. Wrapped up in stories of sexual liberation and burgeoning understanding. The darkness of habitual cheating, secret affairs, and one of my favorites "What are Days" the story of Lena Roses's (sexual) reawakening in the arms of a young man more than half her age.

I should mention that it's spooky. That it's spooky in the way that the fantastic parts of mundane life always are. Between stories of meeting the grim reaper (a random man who seems to fall from the sky) to white women being haunted by the ghost of long dead Black children they watched be murdered. Its a dark set of stories. It's a deep set of stories.

The thing about magical realism is that its not supposed to be about fantastic worlds that are separate from our own. Magical realism is about extra realness, that part of the world that's still tinged with a mystical aura that can't really be explained.

I'm not sure you'll dig the book as much as I do if you don't believe in that mystery at least somewhat. Maybe you'll read it as the ways that history forever haunts our present, how we can't escape what we (as individuals or groups) have done to make the world the way it is today. Its all metaphorical right?

What get's me in this book is that mystery. Its not about a particular cosmology but its about telling the story of people's lives and how all around them there is something more than what can easily be seen or described at work. It's the characters that move in and out of the story ominously but are never so easily pegged as "otherwordly" they eat and drink and sleep like us all. Just they do a little more than that. Or maybe they don't. Maybe it's all in the other characters heads...sometimes I'm not sure.

Sorry this review isn't going to tell you much concretely about the book itself. I can't really describe it and at the same time I don't want to give it away. But I guess I'll end with I'm glad I found it (had it given to me) and maybe it'll do something for you too.

BWP Series: Hip-Hop Pornography

2010-06-09T10:15:00.001-07:00

Okay in the next installment we're going to talk about a relatively new genre within video pornography known as Hip-Hop Pornography.

Upfront I must give all props and praises to the work of Mireille Miller-Young. Her work on Black women and pornography is foundational to my own insights on the topic. This post draws heavily (either on purpose or based on my being enamored with its flyness) on her essay "Hip-Hop Honeys and Da Hustlaz: Black Sexualities in the New Hip-Hop Pornography."

Miller-Young describes the phenomenon: "Hip-hop porn propels the conventions of the 'nearly soft-core' hip-hop video to the extreme, the explicit, the hardcore. If porn and hip-hop are both, as the critic above [Weasels n.d.] stated, 'underground traditions' and 'outlaw cultures,' the convergence of these forms offer a compelling narrative about authority, legitimacy, legibility, and power." (263)

Okay to get out of the academic speak. The point as I see it is that the merger of hip-hop and porn proper (we'll touch on that in a second) is that both are cultural spaces that attempt to represent that which we would rather not discuss. Be that Black sexuality, poverty, gang culture, radical Black politics, non-Christian Black faith traditions, the power of the African diaspora, sex work, Black people being successful through illegal/illegitimate means.

I must say its a compelling argument to me.

Now I'm not trying to argue that hip-hop porn is the new Black Arts Movement of the Twenty-Tens. Or that we're hearkening back to the golden age of porn a la Deep Throat. Honestly I don't think hip-hop porn has to do or be any of those things to be significant. What I find interesting about the phenomenon of hip-hop porn is my "felt intuition" (to borrow Phillip Brian Harper's concept) that it would not be received in most progressive political circles. Women like Pinky who perform and are perhaps best known within the hip-hop porn genre will only be seen as unconscious pawns of late capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy. Never mind her talking interviews about going into porn because 1) she liked it 2)she needed the money and 3) she wanted to have her own business.

Interestingly porn with Black performers has traditionally been made with white male audiences in mind. Hip-hop porn is often made by Black men for Black men. I'm going to be honest I don't often think the producers are concerned with the desires of Black women. But I don't think that means that Black women are not finding pleasure in the medium. Unfortunately I think too often Black women have to find our way in spaces that are not meant for us, this is in the world of formal politics, business, desire, and life writ large. We ain't new at this.

So ultimately hip-hop porn isn't perfect. No (representational) space is IMO. But I do think it has possibility. Research wise I think an interesting avenue of exploration is the blinding of the aesthetics of pornography and the aesthetic of hip-hop into similar spaces. Not only in hip-hop porn proper but also outside of it. There are genre's of rap music that are more than "nearly soft-core" lyrically. The explicit erotic themes of raunch rappers like Lil Kim, Too $hort, 2 Live Crew, Ying Yang Twins, Trina, Jacki O, and the less well known on national stages fit within the broader definition of pornography I discussed in the last post.

So rap has become more pornographic? How has hip-hop aesthetics affected pornography? Valo ization of different body types? More porn that consist of two (or more) Black people going at it? (Traditionally its more likely to see Black performers in interracial scenes.) I'm not sure...yet. But its an intriguing question.

BWP Series: Defining Pornography

2010-06-09T06:08:00.001-07:00

To kick off the series I've decided to start in a pretty philosophical (if I'm using that word right) spot. Instead of digging deep into particular representations of Black women in pornography immediately I want to take a minute to define our field.

What is pornography? What makes something pornographic?

According to the gods of defining things (also know as the Oxford English Dictionary) Pornography is:

1. a. The explicit description or exhibition of sexual subjects or activity in literature, painting, films, etc., in a manner intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic feelings; printed or visual material containing this.
A distinction is often made between 'hard' and 'soft' pornography, on the basis of how explicit or taboo the material in question is held to be.

The explicit description OR exhibition of sexual subjects or activity.

Immediately I like the fluidity of this definition. It acknowledges that while porn has become associated predominately with visual culture it has its roots in print culture. And not only does it have a history within print culture but unlike the common argument between erotica and pornography literature doesn't have an inherent elevated status. Books can be porn too. Within these broad definition we have a way of putting into "contact zones" contemporary print culture and virtual communities based around pornography that are not only visual. I'm thinking specifically about a particular subsection of sex blogs. Now sex blogging can be anything from advice to pornographic narratives (oh snap I used the second word need to get to defining that I guess) to humor columns about...well "doing it".

The second half of the definition is pretty interesting though.

...in a manner intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic feelings

To break it down even further let's define aesthetic:

1. Of or pertaining to sensuous perception, received by the senses. Obs.
2. Of or pertaining to the appreciation or criticism of the beautiful.
3. Of persons, animals: Having or showing an appreciation of the beautiful or pleasing; tasteful, of refined taste. Of things: In accordance with the principles of good taste (or what is conventionally regarded as such).

Now understanding the first definition of aesthetic doesn't it seem a little contradictory to describe pornography as something that is not invested in the sensory? How are the erotic feelings produced if there is no thoughts about the sensory? Why go through all the pains of sound engineering that happen in the production of visual pornography to create "real" sex noises?

Honestly I think the definer was resting with the third connotation of aesthetic for their definition (which is a little sloppy IMO but who am I to question the gods of OED.)

The purpose of this project, and my some of my future research, is to test the limits of who pornography does invest in a question of the aesthetics. I am particularly interested in how the second definition of aesthetic operates in pornography.Reading histories of pornography it is clear that pornography is not free of social/material conditions. The lateness of which mainstream porn films where willing to 1) acknowledge the potential desirability of Black women and 2) be at all comfortable suggesting that our desirability is (potentially) as much about beauty as our hip measurements. The political economies of various pornographies are driven as much by the machinations of power (particularly as a white supremacist regime) as other forms of cultural production.

Soon to Come

2010-06-05T01:46:00.000-07:00

Hey its another one of these...will post thingys. It really helped me last time to stay on top of what I wanted to write about and actually compelled me to get something written (both great steps.)

So here is a new list of future Blog post:

Updates to the Black Women and Porn series
Critiquing "Homonationalism"
Arizona, Racial Profiling, and Protest Chic
Fighting the "Lone-Wolf" Syndrome in Depression
Memorial Day, Mourning, Nationalism, and Rememberance
Book Review: Let the Dead Bury Their Dead
Academia and Spirituality

And not to leave you empty handed here is the video of my one true love MS JACKSON (because I'm nasty) performing on American Idol.

You can also purchase the medley on iTunes.

The Hater Special

2010-05-31T11:13:00.000-07:00

So I feel like my life of late has been plagued by haters. People with not enough security within themselves who would rather spend their time trying to puncture *my* self-esteem than handling their own business.

Now that isn't to say that I'm perfect and beyond reproach. I make mistakes. Just like everyone else.

I'm sure more than one of my readers (whoever you are) have felt this at some point or another, if not constantly. So I put together a little playlist to get your mind right when the haters darken your doorstep.

Hi Hater by Maino

Hope this helps you get your swagger back. And remember: hate makes you ugly! Spend your time in more productive ways.

Fwd: Brown Boi Project

2010-05-27T11:59:00.001-07:00

FYI. Received this in my inbox today. If it doesn't relate for you spread the word so hopefully it'll reach someone who does need it.

-gogo

Date: May 21, 2010 9:18:42 PM PDT
To: brownboiproject@gmail.com
Subject: BBP Retreat in August--Please help us spread the word

The Brown Boi Project leadership retreats work to build leadership, economic self sufficiency, and health of young (35 and under) masculine of center* womyn, trans men, and straight/queer men of color-pipelining them into the social justice movement.

*Masculine of center (MOC) is a term coined that recognizes the breadth and depth of identity for lesbian/queer/ womyn who tilt toward the masculine side of the gender scale and includes a wide range of identities such as butch, stud, aggressive/AG, dom, etc.
©B. Cole 2008

During the 5-day training retreat you will have the opportunity to work across issues and communities, talk about race, class, culture, gender and sexuality, and explore whether the social justice sector might be the right place to help their community. Our retreats bring participants from across the country to experience an intensive introduction to community organizing while doing important personal leadership development.

We're looking for people who are interested in deepening their path or career to include building power for communities of color. You will receive training in understanding power, communications, cross culture coalition building, personal finance, community organizing, conflict resolution, fundraising, relationship building, gender justice, and personal life planning. The program is open to participants from around the country and if you are selected your travel, lodging, and food will be covered to attend the retreat in Oakland, CA from August 18th-22nd.

To apply please complete our survey by June 11th at http://www.brownboiproject.org/brown_boi_project.html <http://www.brownboiproject.org/brown_boi_project.html>

--
The Brown Boi Project

B. Cole
P.O. Box 9794
Oakland, CA 94613
(510) 931-6440
www.brownboiproject.org <http://www.brownboiproject.org/>

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"
-Anonymous