Man I've been sitting on this post for a while. Trying to decide exactly what I want to say. So like normal, I just eventually got tired of waiting for the right words so instead you're getting this!
There is a conundrum that many people who write about sex, sexuality, or pornography in the academy eventually have to do it. And that is whether or not to reveal details about your own sexual self. Now for me, it feels kind of like an issue of reciprocity. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about the sexual lives of other people while pretending to be a a stoic de-sexed being.
But it's not just that. I mean even if I wasn't an academic doing some kind of sex research I would still be trying to encourage conversation about sex. I remember when I was a teenager I spent a lot of time reading books about sex and sexuality (and not necessarily for any erotic charge either) I just thought it was important to know as much as possible about this topic. And I think its reprehensible how poorly sex education is taught to kids, especially young girls, in this country (and most likely others.)
So I blog, write, research, and talk about sex, sexuality, and the body.
Having my blog attached to my 'real' name and life has made it more and more interesting to be in academia. I find myself constantly questioning these days about how detailed I will be in my post. How much is professionally prudent for me to discuss about my own sexual life? If I do talk about myself, what tone should I take? In general this is a very informal blog. But I notice that even in this post ABOUT posting about sex I've taken on a pretty formal, unemotional tone.
At the same time, I've had people tell me that they appreciate my honesty about sex and my sexual self here on my blog. And I have to weight the potential benefit of that connection to my readers over the potential grief I might have later on in life. Would I rather play it safe or be honest about the full extent of my life?
It's not as simple as 'being true to oneself.' Being an 'out' slut or freak has material consequences: from the way people treat you on a daily basis to the opportunities available to you in the future. There are still significant research grants, faculty positions, and etc that look heavily on the respectability of their applicant as a key factor. Being vocally and visibly sex positive could endanger my financial future and career.
I wish I could end this post with some kind of definitive answer. But honestly I still am wrestling with it. I still plan to write as with the ambassador program from EdensFantasy.com, I will still more than likely comment on women and men I find sexual attractive. I might discuss in detail (or not so much detail) issue of my own sexual life (like that this weekend will mark a year since the last time I had sex with someone else--and I'm not happy about it.)
What are your thoughts? Do you let your freak flag fly unabashedly? Do ladies/gentlemen never tell? Is there such a thing as a happy medium?
0 comments:
Post a Comment